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Archive for October, 2011

Oh what a night….

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on October 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

late December back in 63…oh, wait, it’s only late October. Then why is there a snowstorm raging on my birthday? I’m used to the crisp autumn weather on my birthday. The scent of wood burning stoves filling the air, the sound of leaves crunching under your feet, and the glow of jack-o’-lanterns lighting front porches. It’s odd watching scary movies and then looking out the window and seeing snow swirling around the sky.

Ah, birthdays. I’ve always liked my birthday. Always had Halloween themed birthday parties. It’s always festive and everywhere is decorated making for a fun time to get a little older. I don’t mind getting older. As one of my students once told me, I’m not old, I’m cultured. So I’m a bit more cultured today.

Actually, what made me feel a bit more cultured lately is watching the ever-developing relationship of my sons. They were in trouble a week ago or so and as I was talking to them (I’m sure sounding like a grown-up from Charlie Brown), I noticed they were holding hands. A little show of solidarity against the parental figure. Then last night they announced they finally feel like brothers. They said they used to feel 1/4 like brothers, then 1/2, then 1/2 and 1/4 (which I explained was 3/4), but tonight they were full brothers. I can’t say I understand it at all, but they have gotten along beautifully the past couple of days so I’m not questioning it. They did things when I asked them to the first time I asked them. They are using their manners, sharing things without being asked to, and generally being the sweetest boys I’ve ever met.

We played Doodle Dice today and went to a Harvest (Halloween) party at church. We had an awesome day. The full-fledged brothers are enjoying life quite nicely.

As much as I say I don’t understand it, I think I might. They are growing up. They are closer to each other than they each were with me, individually. They used to turn to Mom for stuff, now it makes more sense to turn to brother. They have common memories and experiences that have brought them closer. They have come to realize they share more in common, they know what each other is feeling. They know what each other is going through. I am so happy they are full-fledged brothers. This is a bond I hope they share their entire lives.

My job is clear. Support them, love them, encourage them. All the things I’ve been doing to the best of my ability. And give them their own space and time together. Let them have their secrets, their private conversations, their shared dreams. And enjoy hearing them giggle in bed as they fall asleep.

Greatest birthday gift ever.

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Halloween Spooktacular!

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on October 21, 2011| Leave a Comment »

This evening was spent with two of my favorite guys, my sons.  We went to the school’s Halloween Spooktacular!  On Tuesday, when my sons asked to go to it, I realized that I now had three days to make their costumes instead of the ten I thought I had for the Harvest Party we’ll be going to on October 29th.  I stayed up rather late the past few night to make a clown costume and the cape for the Headless Horseman.  Neither was completely finished for this evening, but…I think the costumes turned out pretty good on three nights of work.

The boys had a blast.  They also were not overly embarrassed that I was the only non-volunteer parent in full costume.  Not many more years when that will be the case.

I realize full well that they will not want home-made costumes much longer (in fact, my youngest had a store-bought last year, he really wanted to be the Creature from the Black Lagoon).  I adore making their costumes.  I love that they enjoy coming up with their own ideas and use Halloween as another way to demonstrate their uniqueness.  There was only one clown and one Headless Horseman at the party tonight.  They also did not win the costume contest for their grades.  Store-bought costumes won.  This was not the trend when I was younger, but then again, store-bought costumes weren’t the trend either.

It was a hard lesson for my oldest however he handled it really well.  He didn’t ask to leave right away and he reflected about the experience as I was tucking them into bed.  He said that while he was sad and disappointed that he didn’t win, he still had a really good time.

He also aid I “totally deserve to sleep in tomorrow” after staying up the past few nights.  They do have sweet moments.  I love them so and wish I got to spend the majority of my waking time with them.  Soon I will not be cool.

My youngest didn’t want to Monster Mash with me.  He used to dance with me in public.  They wanted to go trick-or-treating “on their own” but that didn’t float.  I’m seeing each day more and more that they are claiming more and more independence.  It’s bittersweet.  I know they are supposed to do that, but why so soon?

The Spooktacular was spectacular.  We sang “Thriller” together, ate many yummy treats, and enjoyed the festivities.  “These are the days of our lives” (Queen).  The moments that happen…as John Lennon sang “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”.  I enjoyed life with my sons tonight.

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An Evening with Edgar Allan Poe

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on October 12, 2011| Leave a Comment »

What a wonderful time of year to introduce your sons to Poe.  Tonight my sons and I enjoyed reading “The Masque of the Red Death”, “The Haunted Palace”, and “The Raven”.  As my sons are only six and eight, we obviously discussed the Red Death paragraph by paragraph, even sentence by sentence, to assist with comprehension.  Still, I knew they’d be interested.  Gothic literature, plague, grand settings, a wonderfully macabre story of elite party guests being trapped and killed by a wicked disease that kills in thirty minutes.  What boy wouldn’t love this story?

I love that my sons are comfortable enough to ask about what they don’t know.  Very William Shatner of them.  They were quite opinionated about the Red Death.  My oldest commented how stupid they were to think that by simply locking themselves away wouldn’t protect them from germs since germs aren’t stopped by a locked door.  With “The Raven”, to be truthful, they got tired of the bird saying “Nevermore”, which reminded me of Bart Simpson’s “eat my shorts”.

“The Haunted Palace” is very sad.  The images of the ghosts floating around, the tattered memories.  The most fun part for me was to get my sons engaged in one of my favorite authors.  The detail in the descriptions and narratives are stunning and create such images for the reader to embrace.  The descriptions of the seven rooms of the apartment in Red Death are exquisite.  To help my sons relate to it, we counted the rooms on our second floor (seven) but imagined each room was as big as our entire second floor.  It helped them to visualize how massive the structure was.  As we read about each room and the colors, we looked around at similar colors in our home.  To capture the picture of the stained glass window, we looked at the small stained glass panel hanging in our living room window and imagined how it would appear with flames shining behind it.

Many people would think that eight and six-year-old boys aren’t ready for Poe, or Hamlet, which they’ve already been introduced to.  The same goes for The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.  We use different ways to help them connect to it and that includes film.  Particularly for Hamlet, as play are to be seen.  Each story is creepy and connects to our sons.  And, why not?  Life is too short to wait to learn about these awesome stories.

Anyhoo (to quote our eldest’s favorite colloquialism) I must away.  Till tomorrow.  Pleasant dreams of the Red Masque…

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Sounds of chaos

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , on October 10, 2011| Leave a Comment »

One of the greatest sounds in the world is hearing your son using a walkie-talkie to talk to his friend across the street.  Thanks to the ALCS, Terra Nova is delayed.  The boys are cleaning up the never-ending supply of Legos, but also chatting with their friend across the street.  The conversation is not that interesting (M, is that you?…Yes, it’s me.  Is that you, H?…Yes, are we gonna talk or what?) but that’s not the point.  It’s so very The Body aka Stand by Me.  They could be following the train tracks looking for their first dead body.  It is one of the sounds of chaos in my home.

Another sound tonight is the vacuum.  I love vacuuming.  I simply don’t get to do it as often as I’d like to.  I have an awesome vacuum, lots of attachments.  It does an awesome job on the stairs.  Even sucks up Legos.  A tough lesson for my sons, but one that helps them to learn to pick the bloody things up.  I used to avoid the Legos when I was vacuuming, but it took a lot of extra time.  Plus, there were always more Legos the next time I vacuumed.   I also know there will always be more Legos to be had.

Another sound of chaos is the whining and barking of our 12-year-old lab.  He’s a good dog.  He’s simply old.  He’s got issues.

Ah, the grand slam ended the game (don’t ask me which teams were playing, I didn’t notice).  I did notice that my sons used the time to be kids.  One talking on the walkie-talkie and the other starting a new book about the Jersey Devil.  I hope they are enjoying their childhoods.  They grow out of them too quickly.  You have to have the great childhood adventures while you’re a child.  Soon enough, you start having real life butting its ugly head into the picture and the fun and freedom of childhood disappears in a puff of smoke.

That’s why I’m making a clown costume and a Headless Horseman costume.  That’s why they dig holes in the backyard looking for dinosaur fossils.  That’s why they listen to stories about the Jersey Devil.

I love watching Terra Nova with them.  I love that it’s on the same time Little House on the Prairie was on when I was a kid.  Yes, it’s a different frontier and the wild beasts are a bit more dramatic, but it is sort of like Little House meets Land of the Lost.  Only there aren’t any sleestak. 

The house of chaos continues to thrive.

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Back to reality

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , , on October 6, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Here I am back to reality.  The show is over…Mame was a blast and I miss it terribly already.  The fun part though is that my sons are doing bits from the show every day-walking like Ito, writing in their notepads like Gooch, and singing “Bosom Buddies”, although they only know a few of the lyrics.  They simply repeat those lines over and over.

My sons, as I may have written already, did a wonderful job with the Halloween decorations (yes, I will take pictures tomorrow).  We’re going to the fabric store tomorrow to get the supplies for their costumes.  I’ll drag out the sewing machine and whip up a clown costume and a Headless Horseman cape.  The boys declared this evening that they want to trick or treat with their friends, not Daddy and me.  Whoa, slow down on the growing up stuff!  The compromise will be they can go with their friends while one of us trails behind, one house back, to give them their independence.

Many moons ago I wrote about rediscovering my audacity.  That is still a quest and I am still making progress.  Our little family has a number of our own rules, guidelines, if you will.  Our own way of doing things and that’s perfectly fine by me.  Embracing that each day takes some effort, but when I am self-aware, it happens.  As I work on being my audacious self, I am also working on developing that sense in my sons.  And in my house, which has suffered at the hands of Mame.

But never fear…yard sale weekend is here.  I told the boys simply not to look at the toys I’ll be hauling out because they haven’t asked for them in six months.  I promised them none of the important ones were going on the block.  As their faces showed scenes of Toy Story playing in their mind’s eyes, I reminded them even Andy outgrew his toys.  I also told them they would still have the thousands of toys on the floors to entertain them (yes, probably literally thousands if you count each Lego individually).  Purging the unneeded items out of my attic and shed and backyard, oh my.

And the funniest thing happened today.  I had been in tense, psycho-mode (just ask my hubby) and then work provided me with a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment that it had not done in a while.  As usual the details aren’t dreadfully important, but to sum up, I rock at physics.  Sure, I know nothing about the field of physics other than an apple fell on Newton’s head, but physics was fun tonight.  I felt energized when I got home.  We then had our late supper, together, the four of us.  Then the boys and I went over their homework, dinosaurs were played with, fervent debates took place about who likes paleontology more, teeth were brushed, and blankets were tucked.  I still had energy and did some grading, laundry, and cleaning.  Even replaced the light bulb in the bathroom.  Good times, good times.

Finally, here I sit washed over with a feeling of calmness.  Simplicity has been around even amidst the chaos of the past few months.  Grace has been my friend as I’ve needed it.  Okay, I’ve been spazzy about the mess in the house, but I’m getting better.  I’ve realized that I literally say the same things over and over.  Lately, as I begin to say them again, I stop myself and save the energy.  Perhaps that’s how I managed to do so much tonight.

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