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Archive for the ‘Musings and Epiphanies’ Category

If you see your shadow

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on February 2, 2012| Leave a Comment »

don’t run screaming.  There seem to be a lot of shadows that come out on February 2nd.  With the weather we’ve been having, the groundhog will be sure to see his shadow.  This is usually a time of year that the air is cold and the ground is frozen.  My bulbs are going to start growing soon!

Still, the colds come.  My oldest is down for the count with a lovely cough/congestion/fever-combo.  This always makes a long night for a mom.  You listen to the coughs, you keep an ear open for that faint call of “Mom…”, and you don’t really sleep.  This makes you very tired in the morning when you still have to take your younger, not sick, son to school.  And while you may think you’ll be able to do a little extra cleaning, or reading, or relaxing, you don’t.  Your entire focus is on the little sick one.  I don’t know about you, but when my sons are sick their little baby faces keep flashing in my mind’s eye.  I see them as they were as babies and toddlers, cuddling up to you.  I remember when Mommy was the center of their universe.  Tomorrow I will again be the center of his universe.  I know this  because tonight I was Mommy again instead of Mom.

Obviously I do not like when either of my sons are sick.  But a sick day does mean extra time with them.  Primarily uninterrupted time, when making them my only focus is the top priority of the day.  It brings me back to when I worked from home.  We would read stories or play or just sit together during my break times.  They would cuddle on my lap while I read essays.  As toddlers, they learned their numbers (up to 6) and how to use a computer mouse by clicking on the scores for me.

Tomorrow morning we’ll cuddle in bed, then move the cuddle-fest to the couch to watch cartoons on-demand till our brains turn to mush.  I’ll check his temperature too often, but he’ll say “it’s okay, Mommy”.  We’ll color with crayons, read books, take a little nap.  I will happily hold his 61 pound, 48 inch body on my lap.

We’ll have long conversations about dinosaurs.  We’ll read through his many dinosaur books for the umpteenth time.  Pokemon battles may be unavoidable, but you’re sick, I’ll humor you.  I’ll make him watch The Princess Bride (great movie to watch when one is sick-see “you’re sick, I’ll humor you”).  He’ll get to choose whatever he wants for lunch even if it requires Dad running out somewhere.  And the important life questions will flow freely throughout the day.  They usually get saved for right before bedtime, when I’m tired, but know I can’t rush through the answer because it’s truly important to him.  And it matters more than anything else at that moment.  We’ll even get to spend time together in silence.  Tomorrow Elmo’s blanket will be perfectly acceptable to cuddle.  There will be no discussion about maybe putting his stuffed animals in the attic.  He won’t claim they are his brother’s because tomorrow he’ll need them.

And then as he starts to feel better, I’ll know before I even reach for the thermometer.  I’ll go from Mommy back to Mom.

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Adam & Darwin & Pokemon

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , , on January 30, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Life presents various struggles, dilemmas, and challenges to overcome.  Some are easier than others-deciding which shoes to wear with an outfit or which dessert to have after dinner.  Notice I didn’t write if to have dessert…but which dessert because you only live once and you can enjoy things like dessert in moderation.  Or be gluttonous, really, it’s up to you but live with the choices you make and please don’t whine about them.

Back to challenges.  The challenge I am about to embark on is related to my son’s faith.  Many would say it is his challenge and it is.  However, as his mom I want to help him and be there to guide him.  Since I know nothing about evolutionary theism or any of the variations on the name, I’ve got a lot to learn.  Just by doing a quick google search I have quickly learned that there is controversy surrounding it and I will need to brush up Darwin.  My oldest is grappling with balancing his growing faith in Jesus with his scientific brain.  He asked me the other day who was the first man on earth and I naturally responded Adam.  He looked at me and said, um, Mom, are you sure?  Does that fit within the eras?  I told him we’d have to research it.

Now I get to start researching it.  I have to start before him because he will advance beyond me in no time.  Evolution is everywhere.  The Pokemon world has it.  The cards evolve to stronger forms.  My youngest son is having his unbirthday party this weekend.  “The Amazing World of Gumball” is the theme.  One of the characters is named Darwin.  It’s a fish with legs.  I was trying to explain to my youngest why that is funny but he is six-evolutionary theory is a rather large topic.

Add into the mix blending that with theology and it makes my head hurt.  My head will have to hurt because my oldest is still walking his road toward baptism.  He’s been asking about baptism in the same breath he’s been asking about who was the first man.  I have not explicitly asked him yet if he is trying to find a balance because I want to be able to answer him with more than just “We’ll ask Pastor Ed.”  Trust me-we will ask Pastor Ed, but I want my son to know that I will be on the journey with him.  I want to be able to field questions from my younger son too.  He usually joins in on the conversations once he notices the level of intensity.

My youngest noticed his big brother in church on Sunday.  He realized big bro was participating in the service.  I think when he heard “Gloria Patri” he put together that the song his big bro keeps singing at bedtime came from church.

So tomorrow I will take a break during work and go to the big old library and get a book or two.  I’ll search the databases for some current information as well.  Let the learning begin.

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Touching the underbelly

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies on January 28, 2012| Leave a Comment »

It was not quite cold, more like room temperature.  It felt sponge-like, but not rough.  It was a smooth sponge.  It was actually a stingray.  It felt like underbelly.  My oldest son loved touching the stingrays, sharks, and starfish.  That’s what he spent most of his time doing at the aquarium yesterday during the field trip.  He also hung out with his group some of the time, but our little science boy wants to do the hands-on stuff as much as possible, even if it means going solo.

My dad came with us.  We usually call him Bearpaw (family nickname mixed with grandpa).  Yesterday, however, my eight year old son told us to call him “Grandfather” in front of his friends.  Grandfather?  Really?  Well, later in the day, one of his classmates told him what she calls her grandfather and he realized that Bearpaw wasn’t so out of the realm of normal.

I love watching my son when he’s in his zone.  Anything science and he comes alive like no other time.  His eyes focus on the animal and he absorbs the sounds and smells.  I can picture him all grown up spending his days with fossils, digging in the dirt, his glasses sliding down his nose, dirt all over his face arms, legs, and clothes.  Actually, it’s easy to picture this because this is how he looks during the summer in our backyard on his quest for a hadrosaur fossil.

I’m tempted to get a few fossils and bury them in the backyard just to see the look on his face.  I don’t because then I know he would dig even deeper.  Then, I’d have to get a permit.

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Living at the speed of a six year old

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on January 26, 2012| Leave a Comment »

This evening, against my better judgement, the boys and I left the house at 7:10 to go to Toys R Us to get gifts for this weekend’s birthday parties and Pokemon cards for them.  They each had their allowances and were desperate to get more cards.  The plan was to stop at Burger King on the way home.  All went well on the trip, but we didn’t get home till 8:30…their bedtime.

We ate, we had a great family dinner, filling our tummies with Whoppers and our ears with tales of the day.  Then the boys started getting ready for bed as I reviewed their school work and homework.  That’s when I discovered my youngest still had reading to complete.

The oldest went off to brush teeth and do various bedtime stuff.  My other son and I sat down on the couch so he could read me “Snakes”, a non-fiction story.  In my mind, I was thinking, ‘okay, read it quickly, you need to brush your teeth, I’m going on the field trip with your brother tomorrow, we need to get to bed, read quickly…” which goes completely against every fiber in my being since I’m a reading specialist.  But…

Then a beautiful thing happened.  My son brought me into his world and I was living at the speed of a six year old.  He found something interesting on every page.  He pointed out the egg tooth on the baby snake.  He pondered which would be the better pet-a snake or a bearded dragon.  He wondered if he would ever have both.  He examined the scales on the skin.  He questioned where the snake’s ear was hidden (since we can’t see them).  He admired their eyes.

We studied the snakes…at his pace, in his time.

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In the right place at the right time

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on January 26, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Obviously I would love to write that the right place and time involved meeting someone like Kenneth Branagh or Uncle Stevie.  No such luck.

However I was in the right place at the right time for a person at work today.  She had some concerns about a topic and, in my humble opinion, God sent the Holy Spirit on down to make sure we connected.  Our conversation turned to some works by Edwidge Danticat.  Well, I got excited right away.  I’ve known of her work for about a decade and had just read an article written by Danticat that a friend had posted on fb.  I go on fb to share the article with the person and then we chatted for a bit.  The person then shared that one part of the situation was about Haiti and her experiences, peripheral though they may have been, that have shaped her thoughts, negatively, about the country.  Also, she was faced with the dilemma of dealing with some materials that go against her beliefs as a Christian.

Well, bust my buttons, I thought to myself.  The person who had posted the Danticat article had spent time in Haiti.  I shared that my friend had spent three weeks in Haiti a couple of years ago.  She returned from her three week trip about three days before the earthquake hit.  She was impacted by the country and then the earthquake so much so that she is in the middle of spending a year there through Beyond Borders.

Together this person and I looked at some of the pictures of my friend in Haiti.  I asked her to think of what could have shaped the lives of the people she had interactions with that could have made them hurtful to other people.  We talked about the materials that seemingly go against her beliefs.  I told her I was not trying to make her do something she didn’t feel comfortable doing, but think of Jesus.  He’s called at times a rabbi, a teacher.  Isn’t part of following Him learning about people and cultures in order to better understand and in turn enrich our own beliefs?  Didn’t He embrace the tax collector, the sick, the “undesirables”?

Our conversation was rich and deep.  We ran quite a gamut of topics and perspectives.  The person said I am in my job for a reason.  When I shared the story with my boss, she said that I had evoked an emotional response.  She knows I’m a junkie for that.

Right place, right time.

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Brigs’ second brain

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , on January 24, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Tonight I was a very good doggy mommy and cleaned the utterly gross growths on Brigs’ head and shoulder.  He wanted nothing to do with me poking around his second brain.  Noises were made and I treaded lightly.  The one on his leg/shoulder area he didn’t mind as much.  He let me clean it pretty well (not great, but it’s a start).  I also put the antibiotic cream on it.  I put it on a paper towel and then put it on him.  I could not stomach touching it.

I’ve stomached a lot over the years with Brigs, but without going into too much detail, this is grosser than I can handle.  There are other issues, loss of bowel control, that are actually easier to deal with because you just have to pick that up and throw it away!

This can’t be picked up and thrown away.  When do you decide your beloved pet has dealt with enough?

Last night, as we were discussing our options with Brigs, to prepare the boys for the inevitable, the boys asked when.  I said I didn’t know when, that it would depend on how he keeps doing.  My youngest became very thoughtful and then said, “How about March?”  I blinked at him for about a minute, wondering how could a six year old choose something so readily?  He explained that his unbirthday school party is in February, and his brother’s unbirthday school party is in April, so it would be okay to be sad in March.  Ah, the logic of a six year old boy.

I don’t know what we’ll do or when we’ll do it.  I just hope it gets easier to clean his brain.

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Brigadoon and 100 years

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on January 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Oh bloody hell…just wrote a post about my dog and it got lost as it got published.  I’ll try it again.

The weather was very Scottish today…a good day to think of Brigadoon.   He’s not 100 years old, he’s in his mid-60s in people years.  He has diabetes, thyroid issues, arthritis, his one eye is sinking in a wee bit, he has growths in various spots, and one large fat growth on his shoulder that makes him look like Quasimodo.  He ain’t heavy, he’s my doggy.

Okay, he is heavy.  He weighs in at 100 pounds (he lost ten pounds over three years).  He is such a good dog.  He was already four when our first son was born and he adapted to the boys wonderfully.  They played with him, cuddled him, colored him with permanent red marker…

The boys aren’t as comfortable with Brigs nowadays.  The one growth on his head is a wee but nasty (we lovingly call it his “second brain”).  When Brigs and I got home from the vet’s office, the boys asked if the vet was going to remove it.  We sat down and had a good, but complicated, conversation.  I explained that Daddy and I decided not to have the growths removed.  Brigs might not wake up from the anesthesia.  The anesthesia would certainly throw off his insulin for a couple of weeks.  He could have hypoglycemic episodes again or slip into a diabetic coma.  He could also have accidents…I remind you this is not a small dog…they would not be small accidents!

We spoke about each of us spending some time with Brigs each day.  He hasn’t been upstairs for a year, so he can’t come to us when he wants the company.  We have to go to him.  I told them if each of us spend a little time each day, we’ll cover the hour he’s awake easily.  I explained that they can pet him all they want because they can’t catch the growths from him.  I also told them not to pet the growths so they won’t irritate them (this was not an issue since there was no way they would ever touch them, but we were covering all the bases).  Tonight was easy because Brigs was totally spent from going to the vet.  Yep, I actually checked he was breathing-he’s that tired.

The thing I’m most concerned about is a big snowstorm.  He just doesn’t have that Gene-Kelly-spring-in-his-step anymore.  I suppose we’ll be shoveling the yard in addition to the sidewalks this winter.  We do so love this dog.

Brigadoon, Brigadoon,
Blooming under sable skies.
Brigadoon, Brigadoon,
There my heart forever lies.
Let the world grow cold around us,
Let the heavens cry above!
Brigadoon, Brigadoon,
In thy valley, there’ll be love!

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Grimm is my new X-Files

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , on January 20, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I am loving my Grimm.  It reminds me of the Friday evenings of yesteryear filled with the creepiness of X-Files.  Just like the X-Files (The Truth Is Out There), Grimm opens with a quote, though in this show the quote changes each week to parallel the fairy tale.  The opening scene sets up the mystery and then Burkhardt, a Grimm, & his partner, Griffin, solve the crime.  It has an underlying mythology (like X) but also deals with weekly issues.

“It’s the death of dreams”…a quote from this week’s episode.  The show is a little bit cheesy, a little bit campy, like X-Files, and it knows it, like X-Files.  The special effects are better, but there have been a lot of developments in CGI over the years.

I love the mythology aspect–incorporating all the wonderful tales by the brothers Grimm into our society.  Aren’t the archetypes still alive and well today?  Sadly, yes.  But that also means there are still protagonists out there too.  And oh, the weapons the Grimms have are awesome!  I hope they can stretch the hunt for Grimm for a long time.  They take fun liberties with playing with the legend of the stories.

I also love that one of the Big Bad Wolves has befriended the enemy.  Monroe’s hysterical.  A vegetarian, yoga-doing clock repairing wolf.  The three bears from Goldilocks were neat.  The story focused on tradition and the efforts to balance that within the current society.  The themes of family and tradition, heritage, are strong in every episode.  At the core, it’s the tradition of the Grimms that makes the storyline.

It doesn’t hurt that Grimm is easy on the eyes.

I want to find a good edition of the Grimm stories, possibly one with some really great illustrations.  If you know of one, let me know about it.

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Oh what a beautiful evening!

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on January 19, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Oh what a beautiful day!  I’m a night owl, so mornings are rarely beautiful.  I had a great hallway conversation with a coworker today about being a night owl in an early bird world.  First, let me digress for a wee moment about hallway conversations at work.

They provide a wonderful break in routine because of their spontaneity.  How wonderful to bump into someone that you enjoy talking with and striking up a conversation about whatever topic pops into your mind.

Back to the point of the conversation.  We’re both night owls.  It was wonderful to hear that I am not the only one who vacuums at 9:00pm and thinks that it’s a perfectly normal time to do that chore.   We also shared that it’s frustrating to not be able to take care of little tasks at that time because places are closed or people are asleep.  We came up with a wonderful solution.  I’m hoping it will catch on in  society.

There are plenty of night owls so why not have businesses open from early morning till about 10:00 at night?  Let the night owls start their shifts later and be able to work when they are at their best.  When you apply for a job you could check off a box for early bird or night owl and that will determine when you work.  Then we could get tasks done when we’re finally awake enough to do them and I wouldn’t have to wake up so bloody early in the morning.

Anyhoo…who who…just a thought.

 

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What’s it from?

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on January 18, 2012| Leave a Comment »

A favorite game of mine is to play “What’s it from?”  It’s quite a simple game and requires no game board, pieces, tokens, chips, etc.  You simply use your memory and imagination.  A good ability with accents doesn’t hurt, depending on what it’s from.  Many would call it a movie quote game, but growing up, my sister and I simply called it by the question that follows the offering.

The quote I used to catch my sister with constantly was “Making goo-goo eyes at Jane.”  She could never remember what movie it’s from and it drove her mad.  I could ask her every day of the week and she would forget the answer from day to day.  There are obviously standardquotes that are used regularly in every day life, but when actually playing one wants to use a more challenging quote.

Everyone uses movie speak at some point in their day.  Many of our adages come from plays, films, television, even radio.  More expressions come from Shakespeare than most folks realize.  A sampling:

All the world’s a stage.

To be or not to be, that is the question.

The green eyed monster.

Method in the madness.

All that glistens is not gold.

What a piece of work is man.

Out, damn spot.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

What’s in a name?  That which we call a rose…

Many others that I use regularly, but you get the idea.  How many times have you heard someone say “You’re gonna need a bigger boat?” when referring to trying to fit something in your car, purse, house, etc.?  Today, I’ve been enjoying a series of quotes on fb with some friends and so far no one has bothered mentioning the movie which makes it more fun.  Many movies generate quotable lines and have websites dedicated just to the quotes.  But in “What’s it from?” you actually want to pick the more obscure quote.  Obscure but still identifiable.

I speak in movie speak at work somewhat regularly and happily my boss has not only gotten used to it but even enjoys it.  At home, it’s a way of life.  And why not?  Wouldn’t we all love writers to make us sound witty?  There’s a scene in How to Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog (Kenneth Branagh and Robin Wright Penn-funny movie) where this exact topic is discussed.  Haven’t you walked away from a conversation at some point in your life thinking, “I wish I hadn’t said that…why couldn’t I have said this?”  You are basically wishing that a writer had followed you around that day offering up witty dialogue for that moment.

We don’t have writers following us around all day though.  Usually the things we say that we wish we could take back are not from movies.  They are our own ideas that we didn’t think all the way through before saying them.  To quote, “You can’t take it back. …Why not?… Because it’s already out there… call the police.  It’s already out there.”  Once it’s out of your mouth, it’s out there and you can’t do anything but open mouth and insert foot.  Where are the writers when you need them?

The truth of the matter is no one needs a writer.  We all just need to remember that most folks are just doing the best they can each day.  We could all slow down, think about what we are going to say before we say it.  How will the person I am going to say this to react or feel about it?  Could it be misinterpreted?  Does he look like he’s having a bad day?  Should I save my remark for later?  Should I simply say nothing and smile instead?  If we could all step outside of our own worlds and think of others for a brief moment before imposing our pressing issues upon them, the world would be lovely.

Trust me, I stink at thinking before I speak.  I am a talker.  So is my one son.  So is my husband.  Explains why our youngest is the strong, silent type (though he’s catching up fast).  I’ve been working on it though.  I’ll take a brief pause before I speak, or I’ll preface something that I know might come across weird by explaining that I’m working through how to say something.  Baby steps.  Baby steps out of the office.  Baby steps down the hall.

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