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Posts Tagged ‘birthday’

Oh what a night….

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on October 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

late December back in 63…oh, wait, it’s only late October. Then why is there a snowstorm raging on my birthday? I’m used to the crisp autumn weather on my birthday. The scent of wood burning stoves filling the air, the sound of leaves crunching under your feet, and the glow of jack-o’-lanterns lighting front porches. It’s odd watching scary movies and then looking out the window and seeing snow swirling around the sky.

Ah, birthdays. I’ve always liked my birthday. Always had Halloween themed birthday parties. It’s always festive and everywhere is decorated making for a fun time to get a little older. I don’t mind getting older. As one of my students once told me, I’m not old, I’m cultured. So I’m a bit more cultured today.

Actually, what made me feel a bit more cultured lately is watching the ever-developing relationship of my sons. They were in trouble a week ago or so and as I was talking to them (I’m sure sounding like a grown-up from Charlie Brown), I noticed they were holding hands. A little show of solidarity against the parental figure. Then last night they announced they finally feel like brothers. They said they used to feel 1/4 like brothers, then 1/2, then 1/2 and 1/4 (which I explained was 3/4), but tonight they were full brothers. I can’t say I understand it at all, but they have gotten along beautifully the past couple of days so I’m not questioning it. They did things when I asked them to the first time I asked them. They are using their manners, sharing things without being asked to, and generally being the sweetest boys I’ve ever met.

We played Doodle Dice today and went to a Harvest (Halloween) party at church. We had an awesome day. The full-fledged brothers are enjoying life quite nicely.

As much as I say I don’t understand it, I think I might. They are growing up. They are closer to each other than they each were with me, individually. They used to turn to Mom for stuff, now it makes more sense to turn to brother. They have common memories and experiences that have brought them closer. They have come to realize they share more in common, they know what each other is feeling. They know what each other is going through. I am so happy they are full-fledged brothers. This is a bond I hope they share their entire lives.

My job is clear. Support them, love them, encourage them. All the things I’ve been doing to the best of my ability. And give them their own space and time together. Let them have their secrets, their private conversations, their shared dreams. And enjoy hearing them giggle in bed as they fall asleep.

Greatest birthday gift ever.

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When’d that happen?

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on August 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Last night as I tucked my sons into bed, it hit me.  They are 8 and 6 years old.  When did that happen?  I’m pretty good at keeping the special stuff and packing it away for when they are grown-up.  I write in their journals (plan on doing that when Irene knocks out my power).  And I am a photo fiend…more pictures have been taken of these boys than any child needs.  But where did the time go?

Like slamming into a brick wall, the reality slapped me across my face that I had gotten wrapped up in fungible time.  Yes, I am currently obsessed with evaluating my fungible and epochal time.  I’ve missed so much epochal time with them.  I could not say with 100% confidence right now what they are thinking about and being about.  I can rattle off list after list of what school supplies they chose or what toys they want.  But what their hopes and dreams are, I haven’t a clue.

This is a struggle all parents face.  How do you keep your own sense of self, maintain your personal interests so you don’t look back 20 years later and have resent or regret, and be there for your children?  I believe I need to keep involved in things for myself.  I also need to keep my marriage strong.  And I want to be the mom that my boys come to with stuff.  If I could change the time continuum, this would be a breeze.  But since I lost my flux capacitor, I have to work with only 24 hours in a day.  The trick I remind myself of is to let go of the little things and embrace the epochal time as it’s presented to you.

We are in Hurricane Irene’s path.  Hopefully not right under her center, but more in the green section around the red section in the computer models.  Because of Irene, I don’t have to go to work today or tomorrow as scheduled.  Because of Irene I had to postpone my oldest son’s birthday party today.  But I gained 48 hours of epochal time.  I used the first 12-14 hours to secure things that could fly around and hurt people or stuff and to sleep (ah, sleep without an alarm clock, other than my diabetic dog barking to go out).  The rest of these hours are going to be spent celebrating my oldest son’s birthday with cheese sticks and marinara sauce (I had been making marinara sauce when I went into labor, so I crave it every August 27th).  We’re going to bake his cake and play Yahtzee.  We are going to talk about my boys’ dreams.  About what they want to be when they grow up.   About what they think about.  About who they are in this moment.

Happy birthday to my big guy and, again, happy birthday to my little guy (July 31st).  You have both given me eight and six amazing years of life.  And a lot of Legos to step on.

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