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Posts Tagged ‘children’

A favorite game of mine is to play “What’s it from?”  It’s quite a simple game and requires no game board, pieces, tokens, chips, etc.  You simply use your memory and imagination.  A good ability with accents doesn’t hurt, depending on what it’s from.  Many would call it a movie quote game, but growing up, my sister and I simply called it by the question that follows the offering.

The quote I used to catch my sister with constantly was “Making goo-goo eyes at Jane.”  She could never remember what movie it’s from and it drove her mad.  I could ask her every day of the week and she would forget the answer from day to day.  There are obviously standardquotes that are used regularly in every day life, but when actually playing one wants to use a more challenging quote.

Everyone uses movie speak at some point in their day.  Many of our adages come from plays, films, television, even radio.  More expressions come from Shakespeare than most folks realize.  A sampling:

All the world’s a stage.

To be or not to be, that is the question.

The green eyed monster.

Method in the madness.

All that glistens is not gold.

What a piece of work is man.

Out, damn spot.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

What’s in a name?  That which we call a rose…

Many others that I use regularly, but you get the idea.  How many times have you heard someone say “You’re gonna need a bigger boat?” when referring to trying to fit something in your car, purse, house, etc.?  Today, I’ve been enjoying a series of quotes on fb with some friends and so far no one has bothered mentioning the movie which makes it more fun.  Many movies generate quotable lines and have websites dedicated just to the quotes.  But in “What’s it from?” you actually want to pick the more obscure quote.  Obscure but still identifiable.

I speak in movie speak at work somewhat regularly and happily my boss has not only gotten used to it but even enjoys it.  At home, it’s a way of life.  And why not?  Wouldn’t we all love writers to make us sound witty?  There’s a scene in How to Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog (Kenneth Branagh and Robin Wright Penn-funny movie) where this exact topic is discussed.  Haven’t you walked away from a conversation at some point in your life thinking, “I wish I hadn’t said that…why couldn’t I have said this?”  You are basically wishing that a writer had followed you around that day offering up witty dialogue for that moment.

We don’t have writers following us around all day though.  Usually the things we say that we wish we could take back are not from movies.  They are our own ideas that we didn’t think all the way through before saying them.  To quote, “You can’t take it back. …Why not?… Because it’s already out there… call the police.  It’s already out there.”  Once it’s out of your mouth, it’s out there and you can’t do anything but open mouth and insert foot.  Where are the writers when you need them?

The truth of the matter is no one needs a writer.  We all just need to remember that most folks are just doing the best they can each day.  We could all slow down, think about what we are going to say before we say it.  How will the person I am going to say this to react or feel about it?  Could it be misinterpreted?  Does he look like he’s having a bad day?  Should I save my remark for later?  Should I simply say nothing and smile instead?  If we could all step outside of our own worlds and think of others for a brief moment before imposing our pressing issues upon them, the world would be lovely.

Trust me, I stink at thinking before I speak.  I am a talker.  So is my one son.  So is my husband.  Explains why our youngest is the strong, silent type (though he’s catching up fast).  I’ve been working on it though.  I’ll take a brief pause before I speak, or I’ll preface something that I know might come across weird by explaining that I’m working through how to say something.  Baby steps.  Baby steps out of the office.  Baby steps down the hall.

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My oldest was telling me about the big plans for the under-water camera liopleurodon he’s building.  He was listing how was going to attach the flippers and he ended his description with “or verso verso”.  I looked at him.  I asked him what verso verso meant, explaining that I wasn’t familiar with the term.  (Possibly it was a paleontology term that he had learned in the past 24 hours.)  He said wasn’t sure.  I asked if he meant vice versa and he said yup.  I then asked if he knew what that phrase meant.  He said nope.  I laughed a deep belly laugh.  He amazes me everyday with his attempts to grow up as quickly as he can while still clutching to childhood.  He has been asking a lot of questions about what it’s like to be a grown-up.  He’s at that stage where being a grown-up is so much cooler than being a kid.  I explained to him that while being a grown-up has some fun parts, being a kid is the best.  I also told him that while I may be an adult, I am not a grown-up.  I am a sufferer of Peter Pan syndrome in a big way.  I never grew up and motherhood helps keep it that way.

Yet I still progress toward self-actualization.  I had a great conversation with my boss today about striking the balance between work and personal life.  My quests for simplicity and grace are part of my quest for self-actualization.  I look at it as a recurring quest.  At different points in me life I feel I was self-actualized.  For that time period I probably was as self-actualized as I could have been then, but the little spark of wisdom I have gained is that you have to keep moving forward.  The level of self-actualization is always changing, always getting more complex.   While I am blessed enough to have the lower levels basically squared away (physiological, safety, love & belonging), to me, the levels of esteem and self-actualization are constantly in flux.  It’s like one’s own flux capacitor.  One travels between different levels, times if you will, and so the quest continues.

All this from a discussion about vice versa.

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Life never ceases to amaze me.  Simple declarations released into the cyber void can help shape one’s perspective.  While I have yet to officially scrape anything off my plate, my brain was swirling with wonderful, exciting ideas.  The overwhelming sense of mediocrity is dissipating and quickly being replaced with a sense of joy.  Simple joy…an achievable joy.

Simplicity is aided beautifully by the technology of today.  As I shape my goals, I am aware of the many ways technology could aid me in achieving the goals.  When I think of what we can use today, I realize I must feel the same way my great grandmother did when cars started replacing the horse & buggy.  The inventions my nana saw throughout her lifetime were life-changing.  From horse & buggy to cars, from radio to television to cable & VCRs, from ice box to freezer/fridge combos, the end of the milkman (which for her didn’t happen till the 80s…small, New England town advantage!).

I was introduced to many of these inventions along with her before she passed.  And I have returned to some of her ways of life (farm fresh milk…yummy).  I now know the meaning behind some of the cute and mischievous smiles that would spread across my nana’s face.  I enjoy the look of disbelief from my sons when I explain I only had five or six television channels (three that always came in, the rest depended on the antenna) and the same smile spreads over my face.  When I try to explain that you could only watch shows when they were aired, they simply don’t understand it.  Happily, library books don’t change and they are learning that the same way I did.  Imagination never changes-you either use it or lose it.  I share that with my sons.

We had a fun conversation during bedtime this evening about the donkey and elephant toys.  They were made by my nana for me so the toys are cultured (not old!) like me.  My son asked if used my imagination when I played with the donkey and elephant.  We talked about the differences in how I played and how they play.  They came to realize all the ways we play involve imagination.

Imagination is a key ingredient in shaping my goals.  Can’t tell you what the goals are.  Not because they are a secret, they’re just not fully formed.  Patience is a part of simplicity and I am actually being patient with myself, letting the ideas slowly mull in my brain as they take shape.  It’s exciting and invigorating.  At least for me.

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Today I had a lovely time at my niece’s bridal shower.  She was truly surprised and had a wonderful day surrounded by women who love her.  My hubby got to spend the day with our sons at a birthday party (in the morning) and then playing Polar Bowling on the computer.  The great feat of the day was teaching our oldest how to sing Three Stooges “Swinging the Alphabet.”

It was a lovely day and I really enjoyed the company at the shower.  I am also practicing a new skill today.  Knowing when to do nothing.  I’m relaxing the rest of the evening and watching a movie.  Doing nothing.

Hope you do nothing tonight too.

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If only cleaning my home were as easy as cleaning the fish bowls.  Granted, by writing this post, I’m delaying the cleaning of Captain Jack Sparrow’s bowl and Cretaceous’ bowl, but the point is still valid.  It’s a simple process and the results are immediate and bring happiness to the residents.

The problem remains that we have too much stuff.  We’re not hoarders-yet.  We’re pack rats.  We just hang on to stuff that we do not need.  This Christmas, hubby got a new coffee maker.  He actually wanted to keep the old one…just in case.  We have a lot of just in case items.  Two televisions down in the family room-that no one ever watches.  To be fair, there are other issues with the family room.  Two of our senior (read-lots of accidents) pets live down there so we don’t do much with the room.  The pets are old, they can’t help it.  But I digress…we are the proud owners of only one coffee maker.

Stuff.  How did we get this much stuff?  Why do we keep acquiring more?  I just don’t know.  Broken typewriters…really?  Do we need it?  Why don’t I simply bring it to the drop off place?  Part of it is time.  In the evenings, I want to be with my boys.  The trick would be to do the cleaning with the boys.  It would help them learn to let go of stuff that you don’t need or that is broken.

But even beyond the stuff that should actually be easy to get rid of, we have a lot of stuff.  I can’t decide about all of the stuff, because a lot of it is my hubby’s stuff.  The boys have purged toys, yet they could get rid of even more.  Now some might say I don’t need every Stephen King book in hard cover and paperback, but we can keep some things.  I feel like my Uncle Stevie books balance out the 40+ Concentration games my hubby has in his collection.

Bit by bit…foot by foot…inch by inch…simplicity will be mine.  We just painted the bathroom.  Ironically, that’s the second time since we’ve moved into our home that we’ve decorated the bathroom.  This time we let the boys pick the theme-dinosaurs.  I know, you’re shocked.  It looks good.  I want to repaint most of the house and rip down the paneling in the stairway (yep, house built in the late 60s/early 70s-you should see my golden harvest kitchen appliances!).  I have told myself that I can’t do any of the “fun” stuff till I do the icky stuff-the fun stuff will be my reward.

But tonight I clean fish bowls.

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What a wonderful day in Philly.  The boys loved the Franklin Institute.  The dinosaur exhibit was really great.  The promo stuff for the exhibit said you would learn about dinosaurs you never knew about.  Well, not so much.  I think there were two skeletons the boys didn’t know.  The others…not so new.  The boys enjoyed digging in the excavation pit and finding fossils.  They loved seeing the full-sized dinosaur fossils and hearing the sounds.  They loved seeing the Giganotosaurus.

There was a table with a Velociraptor skull, a T-Rex tooth, and some other fossils.  There was a volunteer there to explain the items.  The boys had a lovely conversation with her before going to the pit to dig.  After they walked away, she asked me what grade they were in and I told her third and first.  She then said how very impressed she was with them.  She said they were very knowledgeable for being so young. Made the mama proud.

As we were leaving the exhibit, an employee explained that there was no re-entry.  I asked the boys if there was anything they wanted to see again and our oldest said he wanted to see the Giganotosaurus again.  The boys ran off and the employees said they couldn’t believe how easily he said the word Giganotosaurus, “it rolled off the tongue”.  I can’t even say it easily.  They really do love dinosaurs and have learned so much about them.  It’s amazing how much they know.  It truly blows me away.

We saw the movie “Waking the T-Rex”.  The narration included the story of Sue, the most intact T-Rex skeleton found, and a lot of information about the process of a dig.  Our oldest was giddy watching it and learning behind the scenes stuff about digs.  I enjoyed learning about the process.  Even on film, it’s quite a rush, as the one paleontologist said.

The boys loved the other exhibits as well.  The heart was a little bit scary the first time they went through it, but by the tenth time they were simply being giant goofballs.  They liked the trains, the electricity (except for the shocks!), the space command, and the building itself.  They both thought the building was just a little bit creepy, as many old buildings are.  It is such a beautiful architecture.  I love the pendulum staircase and the Escher-esque stairs.

It was truly a beautiful day with my family.

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We’re going on a family field trip tomorrow.  The boys don’t know it, but they will not be going to school tomorrow.  We’re going to the Franklin Institute to see the dinosaurs.  Last year we wanted to take them to the Museum of Natural History in NYC, but whenever we tried to go, there was a blizzard.  So I checked the Farmer’s Almanac to pick the date for the Franklin Institute trip-clear skies for the two days before and after, with mild temps on the day of the trip.  Yet tonight there was snow.  Okay, not actually here, but on the east coast.  I find it interesting that we have the power to make it snow by planning a trip to a museum.  It is an awesome power.

The dino exhibit should be pretty awesome too.  According to the Franklin Institute website, the guy who owns the exhibit was an advisor on Jurassic Park.  The boys will probably be impressed with that.  The info says you will learn about dinosaurs you never knew but I have a sneaking suspicion that the boys will have heard of them.

Tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up the boys and get them ready for school.  Then when it’s time to go, I’ll make the call that they won’t be in school.  Then they’ll find out where they are going.  I hope their reaction is a positive one.  If they are blasé about it, I may have to weep.  But even if they are blasé about it, I’m totally stoked.  First, a whole day with my family…on a Tuesday.  Second, a whole day not at work…on a Tuesday.  It’s just lovely to shake up the schedule every so often.

It will also be nice to have a break from Pokemon.  My oldest asked me to battle tonight.  Now I explained to them a week or so ago that while I support their interest in it, I have no interest in it.  I am interested in everything they do, but I don’t have to do everything they are interested in doing.  Still, he asked me to battle.  I tried.  I don’t get it.  He even asked me at one point if I was even interested in battling and I told him no, but I was trying.  According to him, I won.  He could have told me I lost after the first round and I wouldn’t have known it.  The one thing I will compliment is the math review that happens in Pokemon battles.  But tomorrow, there will be dinosaurs.

I love museums.  They are filled with knowledge and open to interpretation.  They have a relaxing atmosphere, like a library.  I love to watch the looks on the boys’ faces as they explore in a museum.  Tomorrow is going to be a swell day.

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I suppose by now we meet every few months to have a quick lunch.  This day would involve a lot of discussion about my sons.  They are addicted to Walking with Monsters, Walking with Dinosaurs, and Allosaurus, all narrated by Kenny.  They sit and mimic some of the narration, echoing Kenny’s beautiful voice.  My husband thinks I pushed these DVDs on our sons just to listen to his voice all the time.  It’s actually simply a lovely benefit of choosing a BBC series.

The boys love the BBC commercial during the previews the same as their mother.  They especially like the part about if you “stole” whatever you are watching then we should take a few minutes to think about your behavior.  They like the line about the accents and hearing things pronounced correctly.

Which leads to one topic during this lunch.  Our oldest yelled at the television when he heard how Kenneth pronounced Ankylosaurus.  He pronounced the “y” as a long “i” and that riled up our eight year old.  He shouted “It’s Ankylosaurus (pronouncing the y as a short “i”)!  How can you not know that?”  I have to side with my son on this one.  Traditionally speaking, at least with dinosaur names, the “y” is pronounced as a short “i”.  In Kenneth’s defense, I explained to my sons that there were probably paleontology experts there advising him or that it could be because of the British thing.  Ironically, Kenneth pronounced the “y” in “dynasties” as a short “i”.  Go figure.

His narration creates a particularly emotional tone  in Allosaurus.  My eyes have filled with tears several times watching the story of Big Al unfold.  You watch this adorable predator’s life from egg to death and Ken’s voice makes you invest in this dinosaur.  The films are an amazing series.  You should watch it if you haven’t yet seen it.  The images are stunning, the writing is solid, and the music is  beautiful.  Add to that Kenneth’s beautiful voice and you’ve got several hours of educational wonder.

The emotional responses evoked from my sons as they watch these films is classic.  They say “aw” when the little baby dinosaurs hatch and waddle into the forest.  They laugh when he talks about the amount of gas produced by the sauropods.  They are now desperate to learn the metric system to understand the measurements being given about the creatures.  They get angry when the fates of various creatures are described by Kenneth.  They call out the names of the dinosaurs as they appear on the screen.

While I don’t get to gaze upon Kenneth during these films, his lilting, smooth voice fills the house day after day.  I’d have to thank him for all my sons have learned about the monsters and dinosaurs, the art of speaking eloquently, and for all the ways to use dung in a sentence.  I have to say, I’d have paid extra if just once Kenneth could have called it poo.

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Remember when you were in elementary school and the latest fad was the MOST important thing in the world?  Do you remember when you weren’t able to get the fad?  When your folks said no.  They told you how it was a fad and it would pass and they weren’t spending their hard-earned money on a trendy fad?  I remember.  While my parents didn’t always say no, it’s easier to recall the feeling of being denied the item than what the item I desperately needed was.  I do remember the trends I got…Rubik’s cube (never did master that), scratch & sniff stickers (why?), Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots (still cool to this day).  I remember I wanted more mood rings, Madlibs, and Atari games.

At the time, I wished I could spend even more time at the mall.  In hindsight, thank you, Mom, for limiting that.  If I only had listened to her about not spending all of my money there too.  Parents have to set limits and restrict the number of trendy fads children get obsessed with. It helps them build character, resist total conformity, and maintain an individual perspective.

Still…my sons really wanted more Pokemon cards.  First, I find it difficult to believe that Pokemon is still as popular as it was in the ’90s.  I totally missed the boat on being into them.  But wow-are my sons into them.  They have each been walking around with their dozen or so cards, learning the lingo, and drooling over the kids who have hundreds of cards.  I don’t want them to conform to everything in society, but learning trading, math, and the rules of Pokemon do help with social norming (or at least that’s what I’m telling myself).  The different characters are sort of cool.  My sons saved up their coins toward more cards.  The oldest had enough money for another ten pack and even gave the extra two dollars (I want my two dollars…) to his younger brother for his Pokemon fund.  This was a generous action on the part of the eight-year-old.  He was actually almost half way to another pack for himself with those two dollars (I want my two dollars…).

So we went to Toys-R-Us this evening.  They carefully deliberated over the different packs they could choose from.  Each made a selection.  I pointed out they could pool their money and buy a multi-set with an extra pack and foil card.  They quickly did the math and said they didn’t have enough money together to buy it.  I offered to make up the difference.  The types of packs they had chosen were in the mulit-set.  They agreed to pool their money and split the third pack, with the younger son getting the foil card since he had fewer cards to begin with.

I grabbed an extra ten pack as a surprise bonus.  The very patient lady helped count out their coins.  I think she enjoyed the old-school, going to Woolworth’s feel of the purchase.  In the car, they split the extra bonus pack, with no quarrels.  They were complimentary to each other about their choices.  They were little men.  It was adorable.

After dinner they carefully sorted their cards and compared how many health points each had.

I will monitor the trends and fads.  I will help them choose wisely.  They won’t always hear no…they won’t always hear yes.  But hopefully the warmth they feel when we do say yes will linger throughout the years.

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I cannot believe it.  I will be attending Monster Jam tomorrow evening.  To me, this demonstrates the impact of living in south Jersey.  When my sons first expressed their adoration of Grave Digger, I tried to be calm about it.  It continued to grow.  We have several Grave Digger toys in our home.  Our youngest adores this truck.  Clearly, he was attracted to the name and the skull.  While he may only be six, he has embraced the art of the morbid and macabre.  The attraction to a giant truck named Grave Digger that runs over other vehicles was naturally going to occur.

I cannot as of yet understand the entertainment value of large decorated trucks running over other vehicles.  I can see how my sons would find this fun so I am keeping an open mind.  Perhaps I will love it.  What a lovely way of getting out aggression and frustration.  When I need to do that, I crush an Oreo.  It makes me feel better because I love Oreos.  And I don’t have the benefit of having a monster truck in my driveway that I can roll over stuff with.

Still, when my co-worker read the email about the radio station at work giving away free tickets for Monster Jam, I was on the phone in a heartbeat.  The chance to let my sons experience Grave Digger at no cost to me was too good to pass up.  If the boys hate it, no biggie.  If they love it, I’ll know to prepare for many more evenings spent with the Monster Trucks.  Hey, House likes it.

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