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Posts Tagged ‘family’

A breath of fresh simplicity

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , , on May 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

The schedule will become even tighter than usual over the next couple of weeks and will stay that way for about six weeks.  I’ll be working my regular job during the day and then teaching at night four nights a week.  With this upcoming restriction to my time with my family, the time with them this week has been all the sweeter.  It has forced simplicity to the foreground.  The five minutes alone with each son after work matters.  The ten minutes with my husband is sweet.  The quiet time once the boys are asleep is valuable.  I am multi-tasking quite wisely.  I’m not trying to over multi-task, but throwing in a load of laundry before dinner and then after dinner throwing it into the dryer.  I can fold it tomorrow.

Dinner was not rushed and the conversation with the family was fun and free-flowing.  The boys took their showers with minimal resistance because of the promise of Lego building once they were all squeaky clean.  They got to hear two pages of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (only two pages because they had to brush their teeth).  More pages tomorrow.

I watched Murder by Death this evening but also wrote three case studies for one of my classes.  I cleaned up the dining room table.

The odd thing is that even though the schedule is getting tighter, I’ve been accomplishing a lot in little bits and pieces.  Some folks say they work better under pressure.  I don’t always, but right now I am and that’s a lovely surprise.

And each day I’ve spent some time with God.  Praying about the boys and their days at school.  Praying for patience at work in each task I need to complete so I accomplish it as well as I can.  Praying for grace and patience with my sons before work in the brief time we share each morning.  And again at night in the hours we spend together before bedtime.  I want to let them stay up late each night but that’s not fair for them.  They truly need their rest since they are growing boys!  I need quiet time at night to take care of house work and my own thoughts.  I need to go to sleep by a reasonable hour as well.

Little changes in schedule and habits can release such energy.  I feel like I am accomplishing more in each day.  It’s powered by time with God and my family.  Try a little change in the schedule.  See what you can do when you shake things up a bit and add a dash of simplicity and grace.

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Simplicity, why do you run from me?

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on May 6, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I am speaking of a very specific type of simplicity today.  Decluttering.  Why can I never finish this process?  I dread to think that I am simply that lazy.  I feel like every weekend I work on clearing a pile here or there or everywhere, but the next weekend, there always seemed to be a new pile in it’s place.

The piles create themselves as each day there are things I plan to sort through-they seem so important-so I set them in a pile.  By the time I actually get to it, they have become obsolete.  I am working on making it a habit to simply deal with whatever it is the first time it enters the house.  I am working on making it a habit to purge a pile a day until they are gone.

I look back over the week and I wonder why the piles are still here.  Part of it is laziness.  It seems overwhelming to try to add in decluttering at the end of the day.

But most days there just isn’t time for it at all.  One thing I made progress with is not berating myself over the clutter when I balance the existence of the clutter with what I did that day.  Today was a fun day.  I went solo to church and had a really fun, connection-filled Sunday school class.  (At least it seemed like the children made connections!)  Stopped by Dunkin’ Donuts on the way home to surprise the boys.  Mowed the lawn and then headed to swimming.  The boys had their last swim lesson and older son is swimming.  At yesterday’s penultimate lesson, the kickboard floated away from him and he swam over to get it.  I explained to him that if he can swim to get the kickboard, he doesn’t need the kickboard.  He made the connection.  🙂  Younger son can swim when he isn’t goofing off.  Once I pointed out to him that there were only a few minutes left, he focused and had a great lap.

Then we surprised my mom at work to wish her an early happy mother’s day.  It was Kite Day at her workplace but we got there after the bulk of the festivities were done so it wasn’t too crowded.  She was happy to see her grandsons and her daughter.  We met the two lab puppies and one really looked like Brigs when he was a pup.  And I didn’t even cry.  I actually smiled.  That’s a good thing.

When we got home, the boys tried out the kites their Nana gave them as I made crescent roll pizza  and mozzarella sticks.  We then settled in to watch a movie.  By the time they were in bed, snug as bugs in rugs, it was 10:00.

And the piles sit, staring at me.  Welp, they can watch me sleep.

As I reflect on the childhood we have been building for our sons, I smile.  I cry.  I laugh.  I pray each day that when they are all grown up, they look back and think of their childhoods with a big smile on their faces.  I hope they notice we tried to surround it with simplicity so they could nurture their imaginations.  Right now they just think we’re mean for not giving them a game system and unlimited time with the television.  They don’t think we’re mean when we tell them to read or play with their Legos or trains or dinosaurs, so I know it’s working on some levels.

Simplicity can be a clutter filled house.  The piles of boxes are not actually boxes.  Two of them are a music studio, some of them are part of an IFO (Identified Flying Object to the boys, a UFO to everybody else since they don’t know what it is).  Stacks of books sit in front of the book shelves because we have too many books.  Okay, I don’t think we have too many, but anyone who ever helped us move will say otherwise.  We just need more shelves.  There are booby traps on the bedroom closet doors and science experiments in the bathroom.  Baskets are filled with school work that is still too precious (according to me) or too important (according to the boys) to recycle.

Examining a quest with a different perspective can bring peace to it.  My quest for simplicity has been there all along.  Just because my simplicity is different doesn’t mean it isn’t simplicity.  As I have been coming to realize this glaringly obvious truth, I have found more time to work on the piles.  While those piles used to always get replaced with a new one, that’s not always happening now.

Simplicity has been running from me, alluding me for some time.  Either it’s getting tired and slowing down or I’m catching up to it.

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Salieri, if only you had known

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on May 3, 2012| Leave a Comment »

What a difference a day makes.  Also walking away from the problem offers such wonderful perspective.  That and a few friends commenting on fb that they know exactly how I feel.  And chocolate.  I can’t forget the chocolate.

But you know what the best thing I reflected on today was?  I ate supper with my family yet again this week.  We’ve been rocking the dinner time lately.  Doesn’t matter what the dinner is, it’s the time together.  My sons have finally gotten the swing of sharing something fun about their days.  And I’m going to admit it…write on virtual paper…we use the convenience stuff to make dinner.  Yes, there are fresh veggies (asparagus at the moment since it’s in season-though I don’t eat it).  But the main entrée was one of those skillet dinners.  If I didn’t have to work, I’d be cooking home-made stuff.  Ah, well…do the best you can with what you have where you are.  Teddy Roosevelt, not me.  I wish I could write something as pithy as that.

Perspective comes in many ways.  You just have to be open to it coming in and opening your eyes.  Be open to the other side of things and examining the issue with other eyes.  Turn it over and over.  Challenge it, question it.  Pray on it.  Focus on simplicity and grace to rise above the feeling of mediocrity.

So what am I going to be when I grow up?  I have no idea and realized today that part of the reason I feel like I’m floating and looking for my thing is that I refuse to grow up.  I still love learning and have a thirst for new experiences.  If a particular experience, idea, or goal doesn’t materialize, no biggie.  There will be another.

And until another shows itself, I have buckled down and examined what is on my plate and what I can do with it.  How I can do each project.  Why I am doing each project.  I asked myself if I still feel each one is fun.  Theater had become not fun, but when I gave it a whirl this past fall, it was a blast.  Why?  Because I was just an actor.  So I now know I’ll never be on a theater board again.  Takes the fun right out of it.

A very fun project coming up in the summer are the dino digs we’ll be going on for fossil hunting.  I think I may be more excited than the boys.  Older son still wants to find more substantial fossils than what we should find on these digs, but we’ve been talking about the fact that you need to start where you’re at and grow from each experience.  We talked about how he needs to learn how to dig and these three trips will help him do that.

I’m sewing again.  Other than Halloween costumes, I haven’t done that for a while.  It’s a costume for a friend who is going to a film-fan convention.  So far it seems to be going well.  I enjoyed making the patterns and they are working nicely.  We’re having a fitting this Saturday.

Of course, I’m in VBS prep mode.  We’re going to Babylon this year.  Oh yes, there will be a hanging garden.  I’ve been working on that for the past month.

Prayer, meditation, studying my Shakespeare and Grimm, reading some Uncle Stevie, it’s all good.  Just need to get off my arse and work out the issues in my legs.  This week’s been a less than stellar week, but it is still so much better than it had been for the past few years.

And it’s almost summer.  Now I do not do the beach thing.  There is sand at a beach and I don’t do sand.  We will go to the lake, and yes, there is sand there, but it’s not overly crowded.  There are pools we’ll go to and the boys will do a lot of swimming.  Maybe they’ll teach their mom.

I do attempt the garden thing, but have been horrible with it the past few years.  However, sons and I have already weeded and cleaned out two of them and are working on a third.  But I really need to trim the bloody holly trees.  They are a mess again.

What most of these have in common are my family.  Which reminded me that I’m not doing that bad if we’re doing all these somethings and even some days of nothings together.

Salieri, if only you had known to step away.  To reflect and take inventory.  To count your blessings.  And to not take it all so seriously.

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Scrabble

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on April 15, 2012| Leave a Comment »

When we last left off, Gentle Reader, you were left in suspense as to whether or not I would return to work.  Okay, not that much suspense, obviously I went back to work (I mean, seriously, walk away from a job in this economy?).  Work was pleasant and fun and amazingly busy.  That’s what happens when you take off four days with only three more weeks before finals.  So the day flew by and Thursday evening was filled with oldest son’s little league practice.  After we got home, I experienced the most awkward couple of hours with my sons.  We didn’t quite know how to be with each other.  I think they were wondering what I would do and I didn’t want to overdo it in an attempt to compensate for the previous evening.  It was over and done with and at least one of the three of us had apologized for her behavior.

On Friday afternoon, my hubby brought the boys to work and the boys got to participate in game night with the tutors.  Oldest son made a board game and some of the tutors played it with him.  Youngest son played Doodle Dice with me and one of the tutors (who jumped in when I had to get stuff).  Then oldest son joined in on a game of Scrabble while three other tutors finished a challenging game of Tribond Kids (yes, I brought the kids edition.  Go get the adult edition and you’ll see how hard it is).  I enjoyed watching my sons hang out with my “other” children.  The awkwardness was still there with my sons, very faint now but still lingering.  They were truly well behaved there and everyone in the office was so very sweet to them.

We rode home and I didn’t talk much.  Didn’t have much to say.  Oldest son was sweet and tried to make small talk.  Youngest son was the strong silent type and simply stared out the window.  When we got home, we unloaded the rocket-sled and once we were inside, my sons asked to play Scrabble.

Well, I love Scrabble.  This was great to have someone to play with and we set up the board.  I had realized at work that my deluxe edition rotating Scrabble board is older than the tutors and yet here I was playing a game with my sons.  They are pretty good at it and came up with some surprising words.  Youngest son successfully and independently played the “x” by way of the word “fox”.  Quite proud.  Oldest son successfully and independently played zoo when faced with the challenging “z” tile.  They asked why some of the tiles have little chew marks on them and, as I had to the tutors, I told them of how Anakin, one of our dearly departed felines, loved to chew wood.  Eventually the game ended, and after I had tucked them into bed I realized the awkwardness had ended too.

We played games throughout the weekend, pulled weeds in two of the gardens, and stayed up late Saturday night watching Indiana Jones movies.  Today we enjoyed church, attempted to swim in Pop-pop’s really cold pool, visited Pop-pop, and had dinner at Friendly’s.  Showers and teeth brushing were followed by another game of Scrabble before they crawled into bed.  As they climbed into bed they complimented each other on their good sportsmanship.  I think that was reverse psychology intended for me since I had gotten grumpy when one of them played a word using the “e” I needed for a double-word score play of “zebra”.  The game ended with the “z” still amongst my unplayed tiles.

So now that my “staycation” is officially over, my house is no cleaner (somehow it’s messier), my to-do list is no shorter (somehow it’s longer), but my sons have fallen in love with Scrabble and I have fallen in love with them all over again.

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Simplicity again…simplicity

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on April 10, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Today I slept in till 9:30 and it was lovely.  The boys had grabbed breakfast and were watching cartoons.  I took a leisurely morning and then gave the boys Jurassic Park chores.  You may recall, Gentle Reader, that we let the boys but a large lot of JP toys on credit with the bank of Mom & Dad.  They have chores to work off the balance.  Younger son did an outstanding job cleaning the lower kitchen cabinets (he even earned a “cash” bonus).  The boy loves to clean!  He got that from me, that’s for darn sure.  Oldest son was told to clean the bathroom sink and bathtub.  He got his cleaning genes from his daddy, that’s for darn sure.  But he tried.  He just doesn’t love cleaning like me and younger son.  We’re both a little bit Monk and Monica Geller.  Younger son’s face had pure joy as he saw the food stains coming off the wood.  He asked for fresh water.  He used different “scrubbing” techniques (he explained them to me…so cute).  He was so intently focused, it made me smile to watch him.

I worked on the dinosaur room.  You can see oldest son’s desk.  It’s amazing.  You can see most of the floor.  We agreed (otherwise known as I decided and convinced them it was their idea) that we would narrow down the toys.  I can’t get them to do it.  They try, but being the little pack-rats that they are, they can’t let go of things.  They got that from both mommy and daddy.  So I’m doing it.  They’ll be keeping Jurassic Park toys, Legos, K’Nex (they just received three sets of those from friends and they’re loving them!), trains, and Pokemon cards.  The other piles are being sorted through and will be donated appropriately.  Junk will simply be tossed as it should be.

I put two large objects that were littering the backyard out to the curb last night.  No one took them which tells you the state they were in!  The yard looks nicer already.  I need to put out my shade garden but it desperately needs more mulch.  I had hoped to work in the yard, but it has been so bloody windy that it hasn’t worked out.  Supposedly this weekend will be nice and warm, so I’ll clean the yard Saturday.

A friend came over this afternoon.  We hadn’t seen each other for quite a bit and it was a lovely visit.  I’m going to make her costume for Comic-Con.  I cannot wait to pull my dressmaker’s form down from the attic.  I haven’t used it for several years but you don’t get rid of something like that.  I miss sewing.  But it’s not as if I couldn’t be doing it.  I simply don’t make the time so this is a wonderful way to get back into it.

I am slowly coming to realize how much time I can fill on my own because all of a sudden my boys don’t need me the way they used to need me.  Obviously they still need me, but they both have their own things they are doing.  This staycation has shown me how much they have grown up.  I guess I’ve grown up a bit too because it’s not making me sad.  I’m not cursing myself for “missing it” but starting to realize that whatever time we have together is good time.  I’m able to be there for the BIG things but also for the little moments that truly make up life.  I’m in a nice place.

The vitamin D seems to be working.  I can make it till around 8pm without severe pain if I take short breaks in the day.  I’m not just sitting in the chair at 6pm and asking the boys to bring the stuff to me.  I still hurt but the amount of pain killers I’ve been taking has dropped dramatically.  I’m able to be on my feet longer, although the legs still don’t work like they used to work.  Maybe one day…

It was a lovely day of simplicity.  Another day off tomorrow…what will the day hold?  I know one thing for certain…simplicity.

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Truly Glorious

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on March 18, 2012| Leave a Comment »

On this glorious spring-like winter evening, the sounds of the insects are creeping in through the open windows.  The hum of the dryer is coming up from the downstairs.  And the most glorious sound is coming from the shark tent as I write this with only the glow of the laptop illuminating the room.  The wonderful, regular, steady breathing of my two sons.  Every few minutes a snore comes out and then it’s back to the rhythmic breathing of these two sweet souls.

I fell in love with listening to them breathe when they were first born.  What a wonderful sound.  So pure and innocent.  When they were babies, I would watch them as they fell asleep.  It never took long.  Eyes open one minute and then-poof-eyes closed and that steady breathing.  It calmed me then as it does now.  When I’m smart enough to turn off the bloody television and listen to the sounds of my life, I remember how much I love listening to the breathing of my sons.

I still love to watch them sleeping.  One of my favorite things to do!  To sit in awe of these little creatures.  I struggle to remember life before them.  I had three plus decades of life without them, but everything changed for the better since their arrival in my life.  At times, I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility of helping shape them into the people they are destined to become.  I want to do right by them, for them.  There are so many challenges they will face and I can’t stop that.  There are so many celebrations to share with them and I love that.

Sometimes the celebration is simply them falling asleep after a fun-filled day.  And me listening to the breathing, in and out, in and out.  Imagining what they are dreaming about.  Loving them with all my heart.  Tonight is a glorious celebration.

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Where are you walking?

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , , on March 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

This Is Spinal Tap has some awesome quotes.  One of my favorites is “this one goes to 11.”  But another one of my favorites is “I’m just as God made me, sir.”  True.  And that ain’t bad.

This evening, several good and thought-provoking questions were presented to me.  Wonderfully philosophical questions that brought me back to my college days.  No matter if you went to college or not…it’s more about that time of life when the quest is about understanding where you fit in the world (go ahead, sing a bit of “Corner of the Sky”).  Do you remember spending hours pondering questions?  It is a great time of life.  I see people having the conversations about life every day and I wish I had more time for it, but where I am in my life, based on the choices I’ve made, I don’t have as much time for the daily ponder.

So I love when I get challenged with some great questions.  The ponder of the evening is where I am walking?  Or more importantly, how am I walking in my life?  How am I representing and demonstrating my faith in my daily walk?  How do I challenge the negative stereotypes often associated with being a Christian?

In my life, my priorities are my relationships with God and Jesus, my husband, my sons, family, friends.  I spend time walking with Jesus each day and I try to walk through each of my days as He teaches me.  Through spending time with Him, I am the best I can be for the other special people in my life.  Part of being the best me for them is acknowledging that I will never do it all correctly.  I have struggled and continue to struggle with this part of my existence.  I will never get it all right.  Though each day I try anew, like Phil Connors.

I show this to my sons.  I hope through my many examples of not getting it right my sons will learn that it’s okay to not always get it right sooner than me.  I know they won’t-they’re only human.  They get so angry about little things.  I’m trying to thwart that response.  It’s okay to make mistakes, hopefully with some learning happening after.  Demonstrating my faith for my sons to witness is truly important for me each day.

I walk with Him at work, on my commute, in my daily interactions with people.  This is all good…but it’s small.  It’s not global.  We all know the saying, think globally, act locally.  Still, how can I help shape the global perception of Christians?

I don’t know any clear answers but I know how not to shape it.  Not with a bullhorn (tip of the hat to Rob Bell), not with anger, not with defensiveness.  Not with ignorance, stubbornness, or impatience.  Not by refusing to listen to the other perspective.

The first step to shaping the perception everyday is love.

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Evil baby 2

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on March 6, 2012| Leave a Comment »

By popular request, okay, one request, specifically, Cindy, here’s the evil baby photo…

This is the set up of the four baby pictures (from L-R): 6-year-old, me, hubby, eight-year-old

 

Evil baby and sweet hubby

Sweet 6-year-old

Sweet 8-year-old

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Don Quixote wasn’t so crazy

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on March 5, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Searching for windmills is quite possibly the normal state of existence for humans.  Each day brings a new quest.  It may be a simple quest-locating the misplaced remote control monster truck or completing a simple task at work.  Some days it may be a tougher quest-battling demons from your past that continue to haunt you.  Still, the concept is the same.  A quest for a satisfactory conclusion to a life event.  Humans, or at least this human, finds that true each day.

This repeating cycle of quests seems to have its roots in childhood.  I have vague memories of wanting to find answers to different questions over the course of my childhood and through my adolescence.  I see my sons on quests each day.  How we handle the journey defines our beings.  If we stomp our feet and pitch a fit we’ll find ourselves walking on our journey alone more often than with support.  If we aspire to a goal without doing the work we need to do to reach it, we’ll stumble, possible even fall.  The hardest quest for me is simply being in the moment and doing my best each day, in each moment.

Every day has certain menial tasks to be completed.  I can do these tasks with grace or I can do them quickly and without care.  If I do them with grace, there is joy to be found even in the simplest of tasks.  This could be changing the trash bag, doing laundry, or proofreading at work.  Filling these tasks with grace makes them more fun and reminds me that though they are redundant parts of my life, they are critical.  I need to empty the trash or my kitchen will be stinky.  I need to do laundry since none of us can walk around naked (we don’t live at a nudist colony so it’s not our norm).  I need to proofread, daily because of where I work.

These are simple quests, conquered every day.  The quests that are more fun fall into two general categories-challenges and my family.  Challenges could be a large project at work or actually getting my whole house clean at the same time (that’s my windmill!).  I have vacation time in April…could get closer to that clean house!  Other challenges include working through those issues in life that throw you for a loop.  Death.  Disease.  Major life changes that you weren’t expecting.  Things like that.

Challenges can be blended with my family too.  My sons are a wee bit older than they were last year.  They can help out with the yard this spring.  They started helping with the big clean-up last fall and with planting bulbs.  When they see they flowers this spring, I hope it offers motivation for the spring cleaning of the yard.  They’ll start to see the pay-off of hard work.  They’ll start to learn that though it may not have an immediate payoff, it’s worth the work and effort.  They need to learn that immediate gratification is not all it’s cracked up to be.  It’s a hard lesson but so important since they are growing up in this world- on-demand, high-speed internet, plentiful food, and stores that carry almost anything they could think of to buy.  Plus a mother who is often a sucker with a really big soft spot for them and falls victim to their big blue eyes, with dark lashes batting with innocence and hope.  They need to realize that anticipation, dreams, and patience are all good things to have.

Quests to lighten my loads-both emotional and physical-are wonderful.  I only hope that I conquer these quests sooner rather than later as I’d like to stop having them gnaw at my being every day of my life.  My hubby tells me not to sweat them, and I’d love to do that except it’s not in my nature at all.  I want to conquer these quests of mine.  I want to show my sons that it is important and fulfilling to complete goals that you set for yourself.

Quests are a good thing.  The more interesting the quest, the more interesting your life.

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Evil baby

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on March 4, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I have photographs covering our living room wall.  I love the history offered in each picture.  Moments of happiness, accomplishment, and surprise that tell our family story.  One of the centerpieces is a set of shadow boxes with four pictures above them.  There is a shadow box with mementos from our wedding-picture, invitation, some dried flowers.  Then a shadow box for each of our sons contains the first jars of baby food, pictures, and the knitted homecoming cap.  I think it’s a lovely grouping of very significant events, truly the creation of our family.  Above each shadow box is a sixth-month baby photograph of the corresponding person.  Above our wedding box are my husband’s picture and my picture.  Now my sons’ pictures look so much like my hubby’s pictures.  This was intentional.  And it looks adorable.  The three of them are sitting up and in little rompers with big toothless smiles on their faces, dimples decorating their cheeks.  I’m lying on my stomach in a little smocked dress, cowlick already wreaking it’s havoc.  My one eyebrow is raised up, pulling my one eye up a little higher than the other one.

My sons told me last night that they think I look like an evil baby in this picture.  Wasn’t that sweet of them?  I have news for them.  I am evil! Wahahahahahaha!  (Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh)  No, but if they think I look evil in that picture, wait till they get a load of my hospital newborn picture.  That looks evil.  Big ol’ pointy head, screaming with all my might.  That’s evil.

I took some time to develop my charm.  Sure, I could refer to it now as “natural charm” but truth of the matter is I am happier without a lot of people around.  I work at being jovial around groups.  I suppose I would have done well in a monastery, living a solitary life.  I love spending time with my family and close friends.  I enjoy that.  Because I can simply be me.  I can be myself.  There’s no worrying about social norms.  Social norms are over-rated in my book.

Well, the evil baby has to tuck in her sweet babies.  One of them will fall asleep cuddling his Frankenstein’s monster, mummy, and Creature from the Black Lagoon.  Perhaps that’s my influence.

 

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