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Posts Tagged ‘goals’

Mirror, mirror, who am I now?

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , on January 10, 2024| Leave a Comment »

A reflection in a mirror shows you how you look. Writing, and then reading it years later, offers a different type of reflection. Who you were, who are now, who you could be soon. When you look back and see how you have grown, then you can clarify where you hope to go next. I journaled all the time when I was younger, and then flaked a bit on it. I started blogging years ago, but sometimes forget to carve out the time to sit and write. Then someone reminds me that I like doing this. So I make some time to write.

At the moment, I have been feeling out of control. I don’t feel in control of anything. Certainly not in control at work. Things change there constantly and I have little to no control over anything. I like what I do, love it actually, when I get to do my actual work. But the feeling of no control exhausts me. So I try to create a feeling of control. I bought a new agenda, and it really helps to track my actual work. It gives a feeling of control when I check off what I accomplished, and in moving things forward if I can’t finish something in a day.

I bought an agenda for my personal life too. That helps feel a sense of control in the stuff that needs to be done in the house. There are always obstacles, delays, and lack of manpower, but I keep making little strides which is nice. The bigger issue with the work in the house is priority. I want to do the projects, it’s fun to me, but it’s a chore to the others. They sometimes help, but they aren’t “excited” so the help is quick and I feel like I have to nag just to get a little help. I know that annoys them and it takes away from the fun I have in working on the house.

So for my feeling of control…I pledged to myself that this year I will finish any project I have started and have not yet finished. I will not start any new projects because I need to finish about 100 projects. I know that I will feel better and in control if I actually finish stuff that I’ve started, some of these projects are years in the making. Some are simple crafts, others are bigger projects. I am tired of carrying the list of projects in my head. So this is the pledge to myself. And to write more often.

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Reaching a plateau

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on February 12, 2012| 2 Comments »

The day was full of possibilities.  The morning started rather well, with some cuddling of the six year old as he cried a wee bit about Brigadoon.  The tears soon turned to laughs as we talked about some Brigs’ goofier moments.  Everyone was fed, dressed, and ready to go to church.  Even managed to scrape off the minivan.  Goals were set for the day on the way to church and the sun began to peek through the clouds.

Before Sunday School, my oldest son asked me to go see the puppies his teacher had brought to class.  I went in happily, the circle of life and all, and I doubted they would be lab puppies.

Yep, a chocolate, a black, and a yellow in all their furry cuddly glory.  Tears sprung to my eyes.  I quickly left the room and went to teach my class.

After class, my sons and I went into the classroom and held those cute puppies.  My boys were quick to ask for the yellow one (no), then the other two (no and no).  Their requests helped me to not cry.  We went into church and I felt refreshed.  On the way home we stopped by the firehouse to sign up for little league and then splurged on some Dunkin Donuts.

The goals I had set for myself on the way to church were still in my working memory.  I planned on a very productive day.  We pulled into the driveway and I saw the gutter hanging off of the house.  Called my brother-in-law but he was up north shopping.  I simply hoped it wouldn’t rip all the way off, exposing the wood.

I hit the plateau.

Everything began to hurt.  Motivation flew out the window.  While I did accomplish some tasks, the energy was gone.  How can that little of a day suck so much energy out of me?

Yes, my sons had a fun day.  They used their sleds a few times down the little hill.  They played outside until they were freezing.  They played Air Hogs inside, had fun meals, and were wonderfully behaved all day.  As I type, they are playing in the bathroom sink.  Water continues to fascinate them.  They’ve followed directions, been gracious, and had a pleasant day.  I love my time with them, you know, time not interrupted by other things.

My question, more to myself but if anyone has theories, feel free to share them, is how do I summon up so much energy at work five days a week and cannot make it past 3:00 on a weekend day?  What changes?  Is it because I sit behind a desk like a bump on a log at work?  Is it because I put more heart and soul into the weekend days because family trumps work and I wear myself out more quickly?  Obviously, like many folks, I wish I could work two days a week and have five days off with my family.  Since that’s not the schedule at work, and I’m not independently wealthy, I work five days a week and get two days with my family.  Why can I not manage my energy better on Saturday and Sunday?

So here I sit at 7:30, an obscenely early hour in my world, hoping my sons go to bed and fall asleep really quickly so I can go to bed with ice packs on various bones.  My bro-in-law was wonderful and stopped by with his wonderful wife and in the freezing cold, he nailed the gutter back up onto the house.  I got the ladders and hammer ready right after they called because we were losing daylight fast.  Now the gutter will at least hold till it can be properly replaced.

The many goals that were set?  I hung up two towel hooks and set up a litter box with an easier entry for the very senior cat.  The many others?  Still sitting in my working memory, wondering when they too will be accomplished.

Not tonight my good goals.  Not tonight.  I’ll be lucky to make it to the bed.

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Mediocrity leads to simplicity

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on January 16, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Life never ceases to amaze me.  Simple declarations released into the cyber void can help shape one’s perspective.  While I have yet to officially scrape anything off my plate, my brain was swirling with wonderful, exciting ideas.  The overwhelming sense of mediocrity is dissipating and quickly being replaced with a sense of joy.  Simple joy…an achievable joy.

Simplicity is aided beautifully by the technology of today.  As I shape my goals, I am aware of the many ways technology could aid me in achieving the goals.  When I think of what we can use today, I realize I must feel the same way my great grandmother did when cars started replacing the horse & buggy.  The inventions my nana saw throughout her lifetime were life-changing.  From horse & buggy to cars, from radio to television to cable & VCRs, from ice box to freezer/fridge combos, the end of the milkman (which for her didn’t happen till the 80s…small, New England town advantage!).

I was introduced to many of these inventions along with her before she passed.  And I have returned to some of her ways of life (farm fresh milk…yummy).  I now know the meaning behind some of the cute and mischievous smiles that would spread across my nana’s face.  I enjoy the look of disbelief from my sons when I explain I only had five or six television channels (three that always came in, the rest depended on the antenna) and the same smile spreads over my face.  When I try to explain that you could only watch shows when they were aired, they simply don’t understand it.  Happily, library books don’t change and they are learning that the same way I did.  Imagination never changes-you either use it or lose it.  I share that with my sons.

We had a fun conversation during bedtime this evening about the donkey and elephant toys.  They were made by my nana for me so the toys are cultured (not old!) like me.  My son asked if used my imagination when I played with the donkey and elephant.  We talked about the differences in how I played and how they play.  They came to realize all the ways we play involve imagination.

Imagination is a key ingredient in shaping my goals.  Can’t tell you what the goals are.  Not because they are a secret, they’re just not fully formed.  Patience is a part of simplicity and I am actually being patient with myself, letting the ideas slowly mull in my brain as they take shape.  It’s exciting and invigorating.  At least for me.

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