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Posts Tagged ‘#mentalillness #stompoutstigma’

Another shock of young lives cut short.

Another round of blaming whatever administration is currently in office.

Another strong stance by NRA, teachers’ unions, politicians.

None of that matters.

This extreme violence will not stop until there is improved treatment and support for mental health. Getting rid of the stigma and shame of having a mental illness is the needed change.

I heard an interview with someone from NAMI recently. She made a great observation. When someone gets a diagnosis of cancer or some other illness, or even a broken leg, or an operation, the person receives sympathy, support, offers to drive them to appointments, and lots of covered-dishes.

When you receive a diagnosis of a mental illness, it’s not shared, it’s danced around. Sometimes you are even told that it is probably best not to talk about it in certain places.

Our children are not learning coping skills. They are not learning social skills. This changes their perceptions of themselves. This can lead to a changed, altered, distorted view. Some will turn inward and just be as invisible as possible. Some will develop eating disorders. Some will become depressed. Many others will encounter their first episode of an illness like bipolar, schizo-affective, or schizophrenia.

Many of them will face it alone. They have heard too many negative and derogatory statements about mental illness so they will try to hide it, maybe self-medicate, until something becomes unmanageable.

Then they become a danger to themselves and others.

This pattern needs to end. If it doesn’t, all the other chatter and discussions and arguments won’t do anything.

We waited until our sons were older to name my illness. The stigma attached to schizophrenia is still strong. We didn’t want negative press about untreated schizophrenia, or mental illness in general, to cause them stress when the descriptions they could hear didn’t match their mom. They get it now.

I have contributed to this by following suggestions to not name it or even talk about it in certain parts of my life. That’s over. I can’t carry that anymore. If I continue to make it easier for others by avoiding it, making it where they don’t have to deal with it, then I’m part of the problem.

Start the conversation that can actually make a difference for our youth. Talk about mental health. Today.

My deepest sympathies to the latest victims.

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I met this elephant trainer not too long ago. Only spoke with him for a brief time, but he was very polite and we shared an intense series of sentences about mental health (illness, disease) and stigma. He said I should be proud of what I live with, not ashamed. I think generally I am proud of balancing my existence with a mental illness. But yes, there are times I am ashamed, afraid, to mention it because of the stigma attached to it.

So many people live with a mental illness and the weight of the stigma is overwhelming. The weight of keeping up appearances is daunting. Think of any other illness. Really, right now, think of any other illness. Now imagine a person saying, “I just can’t do stuff today because of the ____________. ” Every single person would give that person a pass and probably some sympathy, maybe offer some help. Make a meal and drop it off.

Now fill in that blank with a mental illness.

Oh, chin up, it’s just work. You can get through it. Cheer up, it can’t be that bad. Oh, I didn’t know, sorry. Well, the weekend is coming.

Or nothing at all.

Not everyone will respond this way. The folks who respond with the same compassion as the “any other illness” scenario probably know or live with someone who has a mental illness.

The ones who respond any other way don’t know what it’s like to live with it and don’t know much about it. Why would they? It’s easy and acceptable to not know about mental illness because of the stigma. Because of the outlandish Hollywood portrayals that make a mockery of the day to day life with mental illness. Those portrayals set things back every time. You want to see a good portrayal, a understated, realistic one? Watch Love and Mercy.

Back to the example above. “I just can’t do stuff today.” But instead the person living with a mental illness will pick themselves, put on the socially acceptable happy face, the persona we assume each day to hide what makes others uncomfortable. Well, we get tired. Some get really tired. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of being ashamed. I’m tired of keeping it out of the way because folks would either have to educate themselves a bit or simply be sympathetic on faith, even if they don’t understand it.

I’ve written it before. Everyone knows someone who is living with mental illness, you just might not know it. But if you know me, in real life or just because you miraculously stumbled onto my humble blog, you know someone who lives (and quite well, thank you very much) with schizophrenia every freakin’ day. Ask me questions if you don’t understand something. Educate yourself and spread it around. Help to get rid of the shame, the stigma, the misconceptions. Read a pamphlet. Read a website (vett your sources, please!).

Remember, you know someone.

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Proper and affordable treatment for the millions of people living (or trying to) live with mental illness has to happen. It will only happen when society forgives and forgets the stigma and accepts that a person with mental illness is no different than a person with Type 1 diabetes or Type 2 diabetes. Some people are born with “hard-wiring” that will not function properly just through nature, like Type 1 diabetes. Others have “hard-wiring” that given the wrong environmental circumstances will stop functioning the correct way, just like Type 2 diabetes. So many people live regular, boring, typical lives with mental illness. So many others accomplish amazing feats because their mental illness allows them to see the world in a way that your regular, average Joe could never see it. And so many others struggle just to make sense of the day, each and every day.

I wish my voice were louder. I wish I could get the “right” people to hear me. To sit down and hear and listen to my journey. To know with treatment, life can be beautiful, even living with mental illness. I don’t think about schizophrenia everyday. I think about my family, my life, the joy in the world, and the sorrow, ways I can contribute to this beautiful world in some small way. I wish that life experience for everyone living with mental illness.

Get rid of the stigma. You do know someone living with mental illness. I promise you do. The best part is when you don’t know it because she has proper treatment.

My prayers go out to the latest victims’ families. Please. Someone with the power, use your common sense and help get treatment to people who need help. Please. Don’t make more families have to feel what the families in Oregon, Connecticut, Virginia, Colorado… are feeling. Stop the stigma and start the treatment.

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