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Posts Tagged ‘sons’

Life is happening

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , on April 8, 2012| Leave a Comment »

and it’s lovely.  I am really enjoying not having a lot of specific plans.  We did do stuff over the weekend, but we were relaxed about the timing of arrivals.  Just having fun.

Speaking of fun, who else had an adorable 8-year-old wake you up at 4:00 am to look for Easter baskets? Yep, he beat his Christmas time by 15 minutes.  I made him cuddle with me for a couple of hours and then let him wake up his brother to look for baskets.  They liked the “grown-up” watches the Easter Bunny brought them.  Water-resistant with a glowy light when you push the button.  Too big for their skinny wrists, but I’ll adjust the straps.

Church was lovely.  The boys ate a lot of food at the breakfast.  Younger son was cuddly and quiet during church and older son enjoyed the music.  I loved the song based on Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy”, which is one of my favorites.

Younger son is not liking the ten minutes in the bedroom when he acts like a baby with ten additional minutes for each poor reaction to the initial ten minutes.  But it is having a slight impact.  He has still acted like a baby but it doesn’t last as long and it is less frequent.

Now oldest son has been initiating conversations (why is it always at bedtime?) about peer pressure, popularity, and self-confidence.  It breaks my heart to hear his worries and struggles and that no one hangs with him at recess.  He says he wanders around and talks to himself.  I suggested the obvious (don’t talk to yourself in an obvious way so other children may feel more comfortable approaching you) and he giggled a bit.  I wish I could build a big wall around him with a moat around the wall to protect him, but I can’t.  If I do that, he won’t learn on his own and some things you have to learn through experience.  The best I can do is hug him when he needs it, have tissues handy, and make sure he giggles by the end of our conversation.

Back to life happening while not busy making other plans.

Happy Easter!

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Wwwwhhhhhaaaattttttt???????

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , on April 5, 2012| Leave a Comment »

“Is he going on a crazy psycho rampage creating a raging tornado of destruction?”  That’s what younger son said today on the way to Little League.  Where do they get this stuff from?

A goal while I am on this little stayation (that’s right…I’m on vacation.  I don’t go back to work till next Thursday!  Whoo!) is to work on younger son’s conditioned responses.  Not the brilliant one he came out with earlier today, but the “I’m the baby and I’m gonna play you” responses.  He still likes to hit his head if he doesn’t get his way, he lives to change his mind 30 times in 5 minutes (I want to go with you, I want to stay home, I want to go with you, I want to stay home), and he whips up tears amazingly fast.  This boy does not like the word “no” and he’s gotta get over that.

I get to spend so much time with them for the next six days.  It will recharge me and hopefully recharge them as we slow time down and do one thing at a time and do it as well as we can.  Including having fun.  No big plans but rather living by the words of John Lennon-“life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”.  No plans being made…just enjoying life.

And most definitely sleeping in tomorrow.  The first day since December when I can truly sleep in and not be late to something.  I am giddy with antici…(wait for it) …pation.  And sleepy.

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My Lunch with the Younger Generation

Posted in My lunch with..., tagged , , , , , , , on March 31, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I want to have lunch with the younger generation.  I want them to turn off their cell phones and not text while we’re having this lunch.  That will be the biggest challenge-to convince them that they don’t have to be connected for the hour we would spend eating together.  I worry about them.  What do they talk about?  What do they text?

The classic films are lost…the movies today are okay, don’t get me wrong.  Still, do they know that the movies of today wouldn’t be possible without the classics that came before them?  The filming of yesteryear set the tone for so many of the accomplishments made in film-making today.  I think back to Song of the South and Mary Poppins…putting people into animation.  This made Who Framed Roger Rabbit possible-putting animation into live-action.  The classic musicals created so many cultural moments.  Singin’ in the Rain, Hello Dolly, Brigadoon, On the Town.

Even classic children’s literature is falling to the wayside.  My sons have read only one American Tall Tale in school.  I make sure at home that they read a variety of Tall Tales.  We also read Aesop’s Fables, Hans Christian Andersen.  Of course, we’re still in our Grimm phase.  We read “Little Snow White” last night.  The text is full of such rich words and vibrant images.  These pieces of literature help children develop their imaginations and learn about the basics of crafting a story.

Music is different too.  I know, I know, I sound like that stereotypical old person (no, I’m not old…) “back in my day” but I’m serious.  Someone said to me recently that in a class about the history of rock he had just learned about a band called The Queen or something like that.  I said do you mean Queen?  He said, yeah, yeah, that’s the name.  Now obviously I’m biased about that particular band, but how does one get to their 20s and not know Queen?  Or the major shifts in music and how each change brought about new genres.  Why do youngins need to take a class to learn this stuff?  I suppose the radio is no longer in existence in their worlds…did “Radio Gaga” and “Video Killed the Radio Star” really come to pass?

I know there are cycles to culture.  I know the pendulum will swing back again.  I know it’s ironic that I’m posting this on the internet, one of the causes in this shift.  Why and how do they feel the need to be connected all the time?  I have survived for so long without being connected 24/7.  Yet so often I sit with people of the younger generation who cannot turn off their phone or tablet or the soon-to-be archaic laptop.  Radios don’t matter, they have 8,000 songs programmed on the teeny-tiny player.

If you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend of someone younger than 25, take them somewhere and make them disconnect.  Help them experience life with a person and not an electronic device.  I’m battling right now with my sons.  They are obsessed with the telly and on-demand.  They can’t get enough of the computer and online video games (based on the shows from the telly).  It’s ridiculous.  They get so angry when I say no.  So I say no more frequently.  When they don’t get angry anymore, I won’t have to say no as much.

Tomorrow night is the Earth Hour at 8:30pm.  Turn off your lights, phones, tablets, computers, any and all electronic devices and devices charged by electricity.  Talk to each other.  Laugh with each other.  Tell ghost stories.  Inspire each other.  Sing “Hello Dolly” or “Dream On” or “Radio Gaga”.  Go ahead, sing it with the clapping.  Or go for “We Will Rock You” with the clap/clap/stomp.  Go for it.  Turn off everything and be connected the old-fashioned way.

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I’m going to be an astronaut

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on March 27, 2012| 2 Comments »

As I was tucking in youngest son this evening, he told me still was going to follow the plan he made when he was three.

“Mom, I’m going to build a rocket.  There will be the large one with the small one attached to it, you know the way they make rockets.  The large part will blast it into space to the moon.  I’ll attach a video camera to it and get a movie of the moon.  I’ll have to weight it down, so I’ll make a space to put the concrete.  Then on Monday I’ll bring the video to school and I’ll show it to my class because I can share on Mondays.  I want to study the moon.”

“So you’re going to be an astronaut?”

“Yep, I’m going to fly to the moon and study it.  You know it’s always full, there’s just a dark side.  If you look close you can see the line.  See?  It looks sort of green.”

“I see.”

“I’m gonna study the moon and be an astronaut.  Well, for one of my jobs.  I don’t know what else I’ll be.  Besides, I’d love to go to the moon.”

“Do you know that’s a great story?  Maybe that can be your next story for writing.”

“That’s a story?”

“Yes.  All you would have to do is write it down.”

“Really, that could be a story?  Could I start it with ‘I’m still going to do the plan I made when I was three’?”

“Yep.”

“I can do that.  I’m gonna fly to the moon.”

“Promise me you’ll fly home.”

Ah, my little astronaut writer.

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Madonna and Regret

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , on March 26, 2012| Leave a Comment »

In the heat of the moment this evening, oldest son decided he no longer wanted to share a room with youngest son.  He wanted some space.  I agreed.  They’ve been fighting a lot, little fights, but enough of them to have become highly annoying and distracting to whatever is the true focus.  Youngest son thought this idea was great.  His own space, some independence, and he could decide things for himself without negotiations that rival the UN.  He set right to work (at 8:30pm) in clearing off the bed in the shark room so he could set up housekeeping this very evening.

We all helped in this effort.  The dioramas from several months ago were abandoned as they were taking up a lot of space on the bed.  The shark room had become the place that the boys stuck things when they had to deal with them (because I made them) but didn’t really want to deal with them.  We threw a lot of stuff out.  It felt mighty good for the mommy to purge stuff and the motivation was there so I struck while the iron was hot.  There was no new episode of House…I had forgotten it was a two hour season finale of Alcatraz (I thought I would have gotten into that show with my love of prisons, but didn’t happen).  With no boob-tube to suck my energies, I had simply put on a channel that was in the middle of a Madonna take-over.  A good beat in the background, we got a lot done.  Fresh sheets on the shark room bed and it was time to tuck them in to separate beds.

When I walked into the dinosaur room, oldest son was sitting on his bed crying.  He was already regretting his decision made in the heat of the moment of this evening’s fight.  He did not want youngest son to see the tears and hid them at all cost.  I shooed youngest son back to “his room” and told I would be right in to tuck him in to bed.  Oldest son and I then talked about how this was a good thing.  A little space is not a bad thing.  I reminded him they could have “sleepovers” and he started to look at the positives of the quick decision.  I told him had been thinking about it for a few weeks, on and off, that maybe it was time for a break again.  He felt better.  Especially when I told him I would get another nightlight like the one he has now so he wouldn’t have to give up the fish nightlight.  Though I did point out to him that the triceratops nightlight went better with the dinosaur room and the fish one went better with the shark room.

Madonna was playing in the background the whole time and damn, how does she stay is such phenomenal shape?  I know she has trainers, possibly chefs to make her yummy, nutritious food, and the time to spend hours each day working out, but damn, she’s in her 50s and looks better now than she did in her 20s.  I really liked her look in “Ray of Light” and I really liked the song.  Many of her songs make me want to get up and dance…not all of them, but many.  “Ray of Light” is one of them.  I don’t get the British accent she uses intermittently (sometimes in a single sentence) and, maybe I’m crazy, but it seems as if the gap between her teeth changes sizes depending on her mood.  The lady can certainly dance when she wants to.

Youngest son got tucked into bed and he was happy as a clam.  He likes being king of all he surveys…all 12 x 12 feet of it.  He fell asleep with a little smile on his face.  No regret for him.  I think if Madge had been hanging with me we would have discussed the looks from her past, possibly chosen in the heat of the moment, that she regrets.  There are several I would point out.  One wasn’t an outfit so much as that time period where her arms were obscenely thin…they were toned…but so thin as to look unhealthy.  I didn’t like that look.  Everyone should have a little bit of arm flab.  So yes, as Madge works her way through her 50s, I’m glad the arm flab is back.  It’s barely noticeable, but it’s enough.

So a little bit of Madonna, a little bit of regret.  A little bit of memory lane thinking of when the boys first decided to share a bedroom.  It was four and a half years ago.  I said it was time for bed and the two of the padded down the hallway.  When I went into oldest son’s room, there they were, cuddling in bed, a wee four year old and his wee two year old brother who had just graduated to a toddler bed.  That was it.  Shared a room for the next few years, with a brief reprieve when youngest son was about four.  That was short lived, as this separation may prove to be.  Or they could be growing up just a little bit more and independence is a part of that.  But there are always sleepovers, or a shark tent in the living room.

 

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Truly Glorious

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on March 18, 2012| Leave a Comment »

On this glorious spring-like winter evening, the sounds of the insects are creeping in through the open windows.  The hum of the dryer is coming up from the downstairs.  And the most glorious sound is coming from the shark tent as I write this with only the glow of the laptop illuminating the room.  The wonderful, regular, steady breathing of my two sons.  Every few minutes a snore comes out and then it’s back to the rhythmic breathing of these two sweet souls.

I fell in love with listening to them breathe when they were first born.  What a wonderful sound.  So pure and innocent.  When they were babies, I would watch them as they fell asleep.  It never took long.  Eyes open one minute and then-poof-eyes closed and that steady breathing.  It calmed me then as it does now.  When I’m smart enough to turn off the bloody television and listen to the sounds of my life, I remember how much I love listening to the breathing of my sons.

I still love to watch them sleeping.  One of my favorite things to do!  To sit in awe of these little creatures.  I struggle to remember life before them.  I had three plus decades of life without them, but everything changed for the better since their arrival in my life.  At times, I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility of helping shape them into the people they are destined to become.  I want to do right by them, for them.  There are so many challenges they will face and I can’t stop that.  There are so many celebrations to share with them and I love that.

Sometimes the celebration is simply them falling asleep after a fun-filled day.  And me listening to the breathing, in and out, in and out.  Imagining what they are dreaming about.  Loving them with all my heart.  Tonight is a glorious celebration.

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Rite of Passage

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on March 17, 2012| Leave a Comment »

The boys and I recently read Creepshow, the old school horror comic book by Stephen King.  It was a key part of my quest for the boys to rediscover and embrace fiction.  Find literature the boys would enjoy and connect to and they will read-Poe, Grimm, Beowolf, and Creepshow.  Tonight we decided to have a Saturday night movie night.  Oldest son asked if I had the movie of Creepshow.  Yes…and after solemn promises not to use any of the curse words they might hear, I told them that they could watch the movie.

We set up the shark tent in the living room and the boys camped out with popcorn.

I remember what a thrill it was to be allowed to stay up late on a weekend and watch something “grown-up”.  The stories in the comic book and in the film are more horror than slasher.  You don’t really see a lot of blood, there isn’t much of it.  The most is in “The Crate” and “Father’s Day”, but since it’s done in comic book style it’s not overly horrifying.  The boys have not jumped yet though I did in one of the stories!  I love being scared.  It seems that my sons may enjoy being scared too.

Oldest son said people think movies are better because you can feel the action coming.  Well, sort of.  You don’t have to imagine it for yourself.  That’s why I love books.  My mind makes up scarier special effects.

The movie has classic horror elements.  Not a lot of dialogue (comic book) but a lot of visuals (comic book).  Tons of wonderful music, sound effects, and some great make-up.  Lots of great psychological horror.  Much of it may go over the boys’ heads, but it will help lay the foundation.  The cockroaches are getting under the boys’ skin.  Hee hee, they may have the creepie-crawlies for the evening.  Then again it’s called Creepshow.

Tonight was a fun, memorable night.  My sons have been introduced to Uncle Stevie.  We even briefly discussed It and Pennywise.  Oldest son asked if we could watch the one with Pennywise.  Soon, I said.  Soon.

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Boys

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on March 15, 2012| Leave a Comment »

My youngest climbed to the top of the monkey bars dome at the playground tonight.  No fear anywhere in his body.  The fear was all in me.  He was up and down, sitting on the top, standing on the top.  It was like one of these types, but bigger and a series of curved ladders with bars at the top.  Couldn’t find a picture to match it.

I simply couldn’t watch.  He just kept climbing to the top, standing there like the king of the world!  James Cameron has nothing on this six year old.  His big brother was at baseball practice.  I’m very proud of both of them.  Each was very invested at baseball practice.  It’s so neat to see how their commitment to playing has grown and how their ability has developed.  They have no fear with it.

I need to get them to not feel fear with their bikes.  I’m hoping they’ll each spend some time on their bikes this weekend.  Just need to get on their bikes and go for it.  My youngest isn’t that scared-the bike has training wheels.  My oldest goes about a foot and then loses his balance.  I wish I was better at teaching them these types of things.  Part of it is simply letting them do it and fall.  Get over the fear.  But I still wish I could help them better.

Letting go with bike riding is easy.  Wait till I have to let them struggle through even bigger life events.

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Scared the dickens out of me

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on March 14, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Last night I went to church for a meeting.  The boys came with me.  They like going to church with me when I have a meeting because they get to play in the nursery.  They’re too old for nursery now so this is one of the few opportunities they get to play in there.  Well, I caught them riding in the little wagon down the ramp.  I told them to stop and go back in the nursery.  The oldest got very angry.  I went back to my meeting.

Ten minutes or so later, I realized it was really quiet out there.   I walked down the hall to the nursery to find the door open and the following note on the floor:

Well, home is 12 miles of country roads away from the church so you know I ran out of the church like a maniac and started shouting their names, my eyes wildly looking in every direction trying to figure out where they were.  Then I heard the church door open and a very scared and timid but still loud voice called out “we’re here, Mom”.

I turned and went to them, put my arms around their shoulders, walked them back into to the church and down the hall to the nursery.  I told the crying, wailing boys to stay in the nursery and play quietly.  I went back to my meeting.

15 minutes later I checked on them again.  And found the door open with a note on the floor…and my youngest playing contentedly while the oldest was crying in the bathroom.

Oh, what a night.  My oldest wept and wailed for the rest of the night.  He protected his youngest brother.  Oldest said he forced youngest into it.  I pointed out that unless he dragged his brother to the kitchen (where they hid) then his brother went on his own.   When we got home, we discussed the problem with pranks-like freaking out your mother, making her run and causing all of her boo-boos to hurt even more.  Then we went over everything that could have happened if they had really tried to walk home.  I told them that I was about to run back into the church, pull the people from my meeting and have them drive off in different directions to look for my sons while I called the police and tried to remember what each had been wearing.  I also pointed out how dangerous the roads are for two young boys to walk on-no sidewalks, not a lot of streetlights, deer.  More wailing cries from my oldest.  Even some soft cries from my youngest.  Many apologies were given.

This morning both apologized again.  I shared the adventure at work, with the notes, and we all enjoyed the story.  It wasn’t funny last night, but I have already lost the anger.  The fear lingers still…but that will fade (or not).  When I got home from work, there were sticky notes guiding me to my bedroom.  There on my bed was a mother and baby panda (we call our oldest “Panda”) with another note:

“Dear Mom,

Do not be alarmed by the note.  I just want to say I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I treat you like you’re the enimey.  I love you and you love me.  If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here.  (I was born).  Love, H”

It’s true.  They love me and I love them, even when they scare the dickens out of me.

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Where are you walking?

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , , on March 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

This Is Spinal Tap has some awesome quotes.  One of my favorites is “this one goes to 11.”  But another one of my favorites is “I’m just as God made me, sir.”  True.  And that ain’t bad.

This evening, several good and thought-provoking questions were presented to me.  Wonderfully philosophical questions that brought me back to my college days.  No matter if you went to college or not…it’s more about that time of life when the quest is about understanding where you fit in the world (go ahead, sing a bit of “Corner of the Sky”).  Do you remember spending hours pondering questions?  It is a great time of life.  I see people having the conversations about life every day and I wish I had more time for it, but where I am in my life, based on the choices I’ve made, I don’t have as much time for the daily ponder.

So I love when I get challenged with some great questions.  The ponder of the evening is where I am walking?  Or more importantly, how am I walking in my life?  How am I representing and demonstrating my faith in my daily walk?  How do I challenge the negative stereotypes often associated with being a Christian?

In my life, my priorities are my relationships with God and Jesus, my husband, my sons, family, friends.  I spend time walking with Jesus each day and I try to walk through each of my days as He teaches me.  Through spending time with Him, I am the best I can be for the other special people in my life.  Part of being the best me for them is acknowledging that I will never do it all correctly.  I have struggled and continue to struggle with this part of my existence.  I will never get it all right.  Though each day I try anew, like Phil Connors.

I show this to my sons.  I hope through my many examples of not getting it right my sons will learn that it’s okay to not always get it right sooner than me.  I know they won’t-they’re only human.  They get so angry about little things.  I’m trying to thwart that response.  It’s okay to make mistakes, hopefully with some learning happening after.  Demonstrating my faith for my sons to witness is truly important for me each day.

I walk with Him at work, on my commute, in my daily interactions with people.  This is all good…but it’s small.  It’s not global.  We all know the saying, think globally, act locally.  Still, how can I help shape the global perception of Christians?

I don’t know any clear answers but I know how not to shape it.  Not with a bullhorn (tip of the hat to Rob Bell), not with anger, not with defensiveness.  Not with ignorance, stubbornness, or impatience.  Not by refusing to listen to the other perspective.

The first step to shaping the perception everyday is love.

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