Grace. Graciousness. I ponder this concept daily. I try to be graceful or gracious each day, but there are moments each day when I lose the grace. It could be on my commute to work when someone cuts me off…actually whenever this happens I lose the ability to be graceful. I don’t understand the people who change lanes every few minutes, especially when the flow of traffic is at a crawl. Do they truly believe that jockeying for a spot in front of one more car in the other lane will get them to work any sooner? And during these traffic jams, I despise when the motorcycle forgets that we’re supposed to treat them the same as any other full-sized vehicle and magically drive on the dotted lines. Hello! Sit in the traffic like the rest of us, you putz. See, the grace disappears even while writing about it.
Once I lose my cool I then get angry with myself that I lost my grip on grace. I am getting better at letting that go quickly, but I need to stop losing the grip all together. I maintain grace pretty well at work (I think). I feel as though I use up most of the reservoir of grace throughout the work day. What I have left over at home always seems to take more effort. I know grace is always attainable, so is it that I’m meaner at home or is that I feel as though the ones I love are able more easily to take me losing grace? The irony is the ones I want to shower with grace and love and patience seem to get the leftovers. This is not the way I want it. I need to be more disciplined in the way I share grace at home, without simply spoiling the boys out of guilt.
The boys are having an awesome streak. They’ve been very loving, very into sharing, and working their manners like maniacs. They are in full “I want that for Christmas” mode. Must avoid commercial television-would help me to keep my grace! They want everything that isn’t pink. Most items have lots of small pieces (further challenges to grace). I can’t see Santa bringing many of those though since they haven’t gained consistency in taking care of the many small pieces they currently possess.
But the big gift they each want is a bike. Hamilton can ride, with training wheels, but he doesn’t practice very much. I’ve never even seen Harrison try to ride a bike. The only good part about this is at least I didn’t miss while I was at work. If Santa does bring bikes, I really will have to finally get new tires for the bike I bought at a yard sale three or four years ago. It would be nice to go riding with my sons in the spring. Hopefully, the cup of grace will be running over when they learn how to ride.
Sleep calls. One of many ways to recharge the grace battery.
ohbloodyhell8 
It’s true. The folks we want to shower with grace are the ones that get the leftovers. Last week, I pulled into the local supermarket parking lot. Someone was parked “wrong”. I seethed all the way into the store, throughout my shopping and (good grace) through a short line. Met a neighbor in the parking lot and felt more grace returning. As I pulled into my driveway, I got a little less gracious when I realized my husband was napping and I’d have to bring the groceries in by myself. Overloaded, the bag with the bottle of chianti slipped from my hand and crashed to the cement porch. The end of grace as we know it.
Keep striving, my friend.
Did you cancel the liver and fava beans for dinner? I wish I could remember to save the free flowing grace for my family. Leftovers, as you so aptly described it, aren’t what I want to give them. Unless there are a lot in the fridge…