ohbloodyhell8

This evening my oldest son teased his father using a less than flattering phrase he learned from his “friend”.  He apologized to his dad and knew that tomorrow he would be spending the afternoon in his room.  As my son and I discussed why this “friend” may not be the best friend he wants him to be, his younger brother chimed in with the various ways this boy has teased him.  I reminded my oldest that he didn’t stop this friend from being mean to his brother.  I reminded him of his two other friends who have said they didn’t want to play with this boy because he had been mean to them too.  I pointed out that this makes three children who he has been mean to.  It isn’t hearsay, we know this from the actual children.  We discussed again some of the things that this boy has done over the past few months.

This is when my six year old informed me of what the friend’s older brother had called him.  I will not write it here because I believe our country has been working to end racist behavior.  Still, this 12 year old called my six year old a dreadful term.  I know I didn’t teach it to him, yet there my six year old son sat explaining to me what the word means.

This is a lesson I didn’t want them to have to learn this early in their lives.  But, I don’t get to choose when they start learning life lessons.  The oldest took it rather hard when I stated they were not allowed to play with the boys until my husband and I have a chance to discuss how we plan to handle this situation.  Do we sit down the parents and explain the situation to try to figure out where, why, how their oldest came upon the word?  Do we pull back for a while and just let the relationship wither away?  I don’t know yet.  Time will bring me the answer.  Time will hopefully help my oldest realize that sometimes a friend is closer to a fiend.