ohbloodyhell8

For the past five or six years I have had rather intense physical pain on a daily basis.  (See the earlier posts when I’ve been exceptionally whiny.)  I went to several doctors and they ran the auto-immune tests (all negative, remember, it’s never lupus).  They did discover a tumor in one ovary and a wonderfully routine surgery later, I had one less ovary and fallopian tube.  Didn’t make me feel any better and blessedly it was a benign tumor.  Finally the rheumatologist gave me the diagnosis of fibromyalgia.  Basically it fit, but it is a diagnosis by omission.  Rule out everything else and that’s what you’re left with for the reason behind the pain.  The neurologist said the neuropathy in the hands, wrists, feet, and ankles wasn’t related and couldn’t figure out why it happened but that we would monitor it.

Recently I remembered (after being reminded by the same friend who initially told me) about possible thyroid issues that could cause the problems I’ve been having.  Back to the doctors again.  I asked the nurse practitioner to check the thyroid and during the exam, I answered a lot of questions.  The nurse practitioner decided to check some other stuff too, including my vitamin D levels.

If only the vitamin D levels had been checked years ago.

Explains just about everything.

I don’t know how long it will take the little green capsule to work, but to even think that I might not be in pain by the end of the year is amazing.  I’m guessing it will take a while to get the levels back to normal.  The levels are rather low.  The first little green capsule didn’t do anything yet.  From what I’ve read (not much, just found out today) it will take time to undo the damage caused by the low levels.  Years worth of low levels.  My hubby of course wants to know what caused the deficiency.  At the moment, I don’t care.  If a small green capsule will fix the deficiency and get rid of the pain, I want to focus on that for the time being.

I am daring to let myself think that one morning, I don’t know when, but sooner than I ever thought, I will put my feet on the floor and it won’t hurt.  I won’t need to take 1,000mgs of ibuprofen to start the day, repeating this again later in the day.  There will be a day when it doesn’t hurt to type,  Yes, typing hurts my fingers.  My hip bones won’t scream at me in the middle of the day.  My joints might actually be useful again as the pain begins to fade.  I am daring to think that I will have enough energy without pain to spend time with my sons in the evening doing more than just sitting in a chair and having them bring stuff to me.  Those nights I do stifle the pain and take care of family business, I pay for it over the next few days.  But soon my bones may actually not hurt anymore.

Do I dare dream?  Yep.  This is the first sliver of hope in years.  Held inside a small green capsule.