ohbloodyhell8

I really am going to participate in Freddie for a Day one year.  My boss said she’d let me do it.  I need to pick an ensemble and just do it next year.  Put a reminder to myself on my work calendar to start prepping for it in July or something so I don’t forget.  I miss him.  I wish I could hear new songs from him and wish I could hear how his voice would have matured with age.  It was so gorgeous and full of so many emotions.  So rich.  Ah, Freddie, hope you had a hell of party today.

I sharpened pencils tonight.  40 of them-which means my sons are each four pencils short since they are each supposed to bring two dozen.  They can get more later.  I have double and triple checked their new backpacks.  They are set.  Hubby and I gave them new flashcards (math, history, and science) to celebrate tomorrow’s first day of school.  Older son also got a magnetic message board for his locker (first year with a locker!) and younger son got a new backpack clip.  We then asked them what time it is…and they answered with some random responses…dinner time, bedtime, back to school time.  Hubby and I finally said “Adventure Time” and gave them season 1 on dvd.  We watched a few episodes tonight.  Both boys were exhausted this evening and willingly climbed into their beds.  Younger son didn’t come out even once, just closed his heavy lids and fell asleep.  Older son was asleep even more quickly than usual.  It felt like there was a release for them.  Summer is over.  Back to routine.

I’m not going to walk older son to his classroom tomorrow.  Time to give him space.  He’s ready.  I am going to walk younger son to his classroom just in case the boy who spread the rumor is in the same class.  I want younger son to have a good first day and he may need some parental support to walk through the door.  If he decides in the morning to go it alone, I’ll let him.  But if he needs me, I’ll be there for him.

If only I could protect them from ever having their feelings hurt again or more deeply than they have already experienced.  I can’t-I have to let them feel it, live it on their own.  I can comfort, celebrate, and share in their lives.  I hope they learn to play the game, by the rules, while still having fun.  They are two of the loves of my life (Hubby’s the other!).