ohbloodyhell8

I know the funny memes go around the internet this time of year.  Pictures of happy parents driving away from the school, or lounging with a drink, celebrating the first day of school.  I always feel happy that my sons are healthy, happy, and here to return to school too.  But a part of my heart cries along with the tears that drop from my eyes because it marks another milestone in their lives and another big step toward independence.  It means they are growing up a little bit more and little bit more away from us.

I know that older son will face more challenges this year as he yearns for his classmates to realize that he has done some growing up and isn’t exactly the same young man.  That he doesn’t want to be the “talker”.  He is who he is and he is embracing that.  Since preschool he has corrected teachers (politely) when they asked or said something inaccurate and he did it again this morning as one of the teachers asked if he went on any archeological digs this summer.  “Well, technically, it’s a paleontological dig, but no, not this summer.”  He is comfortable with himself and that is what I will carry in my heart today as I think of him walking around the school as a fifth grader.

My third grader had to go it alone to the classroom this morning and this was not the plan.  He debated it all evening and finally decided to have me walk him to his classroom to explain his brain and stomach ache to the teacher.  To help with his TS, he has a foam brain (from my work-no one could try to say it isn’t younger son’s brain unless his parent happens to work with me) and one of his stomach aches.  It’s a little stuffed representation of what causes a stomach ache.  These two objects will be safely tucked into his desk and if the tics start acting up, he can release some energy by squeezing them.  The tics were in full force last night and the night before.  My little one is nervous about being back at school.

But the new rules prevented me from walking with him.  Luckily, I had written a note in his homework notebook to his teacher about the brain and the stomach ache, so she shouldn’t give him any trouble.  But we didn’t get to do the Kissing Hand.  He was already in the school and I wasn’t allowed in.  I suppose that is more for me now than it is for him, but still it’s the first time he’s gone into school without doing the Kissing Hand. 

Older son was still waiting outside and he did the Kissing Hand with his mom, risking torture if seen, because he realized I really needed it.  He saw I was crying and told me it would be okay.  He’s a good egg, if you ask me.

A fifth grader, wiser, gentler, and more compassionate than most would know.  A third grader facing a huge challenge that seems daunting, but armed with a brain and a stomach ache.  Yes, I am happy they are back at school.  Not because it’s “easier” for me, but because they are two strong, smart, little men.