ohbloodyhell8

Perimenopausal constipation.

All the crap we women go through in our lifetime. Bleeding every 28 days, with cramps and cravings leading up to it. Bloating at various times of the month. Some, like me, carry little aliens in us for nine months, skin stretching, hemorrhoids, cravings, heartburn, feet swelling, and in my case, puking the whole time. Then pushing the alien out of you courtesy of the mother of all menstrual cramps. Some, like me, may have then had an ovary removed because of a tumor. I have friends who had even more substantial surgeries and more complicated womanly paths to walk than me. Then hot flashes, weight gain, low libido, thinning hair, insomnia. All of that I could deal with.

Loved having my boys. Would do it again, even with the puking (because I am quite skilled at puking in a bucket in all situations, could list it as a “special skill” on my resume). I never had tough periods, didn’t mind the chocolate cravings (who would?).

Even the wonderful world of perimenopause has been manageable so far.

Until those two little words. Perimenopausal constipation. And this is why I am crabby.