ohbloodyhell8

I was only six years old when I saw King Kong. Yet I remember it vividly. I suppose it’s because my dad took my brother and I to see it on Christmas Eve. Now that I am older, I understand why my dad was insane enough to take a six and seven year old to the movies on Christmas Eve. I don’t remember what he did during the movie, but I do remember my brother and I were captivated. Our favorite part was when King Kong battled the snake.

When we got home we had to tell all about the snake. I guess we agreed on the car ride home that I would get to tell about the snake, or I declared that I would get to tell it. But my brother had other ideas. He just walked in the door to the house and blurted the whole thing out. I was so upset!

I don’t know why it was so important to tell the story of the snake. The whole movie was fantastic for kids. Big giant ape, gigantic snake, tall buildings, damsel in distress, Jessica Lange, and Jeff Bridges. What else could a kid want? And to see the “new” movie on Christmas Eve? WOW!

Remember this was in the days when the idea of a “blockbuster” was new. Jaws is credited with being the first blockbuster, and set the bar high. For a kid who didn’t get to go to the movies a lot (they were expensive!), to see King Kong a week after it opened was incredibly cool. And to have seen it with my brother, and to have that happy funny memory is a gift. A wonderful Christmas gift that I only came to appreciate fully upon losing him four years ago.

I hadn’t seen him for decades, long tragic story behind that and it doesn’t deserve any attention in this post. But he wouldn’t give up on me. And when we saw each other for the first time in a long time in 2015, he hugged me so tight, I think he just wanted to never let go. I thank God every day that my brother was so determined because he brought me back to my family.

And what an amazing family. I hate that I missed three decades with them. But I work to not focus on that and focus instead on how they welcomed me back with open arms, and unconditional love. No anger, no blame. They had a better understanding of why I didn’t see them for 30 years than I had. And they helped me better understand why I didn’t see them–the whole deep manipulative world I was trapped in. They understood and they forgave before I could even ask them to forgive me for my blindness and ignorance.

You know, my brother blurted out about the snake in 1976. If I had remembered that sooner, and realized he was still blurting out about the snake, I may have returned sooner. I just didn’t put it together.

I am so thankful I had the time with my brother. I miss him every damn day. But I try to be like him. I try to make him proud. And I’m glad my family got to know him, even if for just a little while.

He brought me to my dad, stepmother, and baby brother. And my cousins, my aunts, my uncles. It’s a blessing. And I thank my brother for that gift.