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Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

The change in younger son continues to be amazing.  We scheduled an appointment for January 3rd (the first available date) with a pediatric neurologist for younger son.  His behavior over the past nine months had dramatic changes.  He developed three distinct facial tics.  He became very angry and reacted violently to the most random situations.  You could ask him if he wanted vanilla or chocolate ice cream and he would hit his head and scream that he was useless and run to his room, slamming the door in your face.  He continually said how useless he was, how stupid he was, how he shouldn’t be alive.  He was six years old.  Then he was seven years old and it continued to get worse.  No six- or seven-year old should be talking about how he is a mistake.

So we started watching him closely.  Hubby and I noticed the one really big head tic.  Then we noticed the mouth tic.  Finally we made note of the blinking pattern.  So we called the pediatrician.  Then we called the pediatric neurologist.  And we tried to use different approaches to start helping him.  Then we started to prep him for starting school again.

On the first day of school, I told his teacher that we were going to have him evaluated for Tourette syndrome and gave her a quick list of his tics and warning signs that he was reaching his limit and would then shut down or get violent.  I told her that he had been worried about going back to school for three weeks, not sleeping well, not eating.  She was on it and ready to work with him.

Younger son came home from school that first day beaming.  Second day-shared details about “all the learning”.  And the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth day.  His teacher emailed me and wrote what a sweet, sweet boy he is, how smart, how excited to learn.  He’s happily done his homework each day and is keeping his room clean too!  He reads to me with energy and enthusiasm.  Haven’t seen the tics.  His teacher reports the same in the classroom-happy, sweet boy who loves to learn.

Tonight I asked younger son how smart he is.  I asked if he was “very”, “very, very”, or “very, very, very” smart.  He thought for a moment and then asked if we could watch Mary Poppins.  I replied yes, but why?  He said, “because I’m supercalifragilisticexpialidocious smart!”

My guess is I’ll be able to cancel that January appointment.  And schedule one instead with the principal.

Quests.  I’ve written of them before and I am sure I will write of them in the future again.  Tonight, gentle reader, I write again of achieving simple quests as a part of simplicity and grace.  Challenges come in all shapes and sizes.  Sometimes you face really large ones and other times the quest is comprised of many little ones, gathering force from the quantity of them.

Work can provide plenty of challenges.  At this time of year, for me, it’s the sheer quantity of tasks that need to be completed yesterday that create quests.  Quests to finish even one task in one sitting!  Doesn’t ever happen but one can aspire to have that happen.  These quests are seasonal and will return again next fall.

The quests at home are more fun at the moment.  We are still working on the K’Nex.  It’s gigantic.  We have about 95 steps left till it’s complete.  It’s a quest with an end in sight and it’s fun.  The boys and I do a few steps every few days or so and we’re enjoying the journey…just as they’ll enjoy playing with it once it is finished.

A quest that seems to have connected with my sons is keeping up with their rooms.  It’s exciting!  They also have been helping with the other parts of the house.  Granted, younger son created a little village of fear in the living room today.  As I pulled into the driveway he was heading into the shed.  I asked what he was doing and he said he needed more Halloween decorations.  We compromised on using some decorations from the attic.  He even asked if he could keep it set up for a couple of days till he was done constructing it.  Then we’d take pictures and he would take it down.

As we closed the shed he asked if he could me with anything from the car.  I beamed.  I hugged him.  I misted up just a bit that he asked.  He carried in one my bags and reminded me that he is really strong so he could carry an even heavier one.

Simple events, each one.  And each filled my heart with grace.  Remember–life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.  Lennon was right.  Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around every once in a while you could miss it.  Bueller was right too.

Sons

This evening my sons filled me up with joy which is exactly what I needed when I got home.  Younger son is having a rocking time in second grade.  He has wonderful stories each day about “all the learning” he did.  He spoke excitedly about math class today and read me a chapter from a Goosebumps book.  Then we talked about family and ended with tickling as I tucked him into bed.  He loves to be tickled and I love the way he giggles.

Older son is having a very “serious” start to the fourth grade.  He is rather focused on being a studious young chap.  He asks questions with a more mature tone now about managing friendships and navigating the social aspects of school.  It is interesting to watch him shift to a pre-teen framework.  New things are taking priority in his mind’s eye, not just girls, but schoolwork, music, and television shows.  His own social strata is forming (that I will be allowed in for now).

Younger son has also determined he is afraid of the dark.  I’m not buying it.  It’s another reason to come back out of his room in his never-ending attempt to delay falling asleep.  Then he bats his long, dark eyelashes at me, sure that will get me to cave.  It didn’t.  He’s still just as adorable as he does it, but I know that game.  Still, he’s been going to bed earlier which means he falls asleep earlier.  Some nights he’s plumb tuckered out and falls asleep as quickly as older son does.  Tonight I could fall asleep as quickly as older son.  Just waiting to hear younger son’s snores echoing down the hall.

I was watching Little House on the Prairie on TBS when the footage of the Twin Towers cut into the broadcast.  I went downstairs and told Hubby that a plane had crashed into one of the towers.  He looked at me as if I was sleepwalking because I sometimes do.  He followed me upstairs and I flipped through different channels showing him.  I then wondered where my sister was since she worked at Central Park giving eco-tours at the time and commuted there from her apartment in Brooklyn.  I called my mom and she had heard from my sister who was unharmed and walking back to Brooklyn with the masses.
As the plane flew into the second tower I felt as if a character in a surrealist’s play.  When the towers came down I cried and flashed on memories of being in the observation deck, of thinking that any children I might ever have would only know of these through pictures, of the horror of it all.  Very egocentric thoughts, but I guess those were my way of shielding myself.  I tried to erase the images of the people who jumped, of the buildings crashing down.
Today it still haunts me.  A friend decided to buy a cd that morning so he is still alive today.  A friend from church had a meeting rescheduled at the last minute so he is still alive.  My sister’s life changed after that day.  It was such a beautiful day that say she left her windows open for the breeze.  Her apartment had a great view of the Twin Towers and the wind was blowing toward Brooklyn that day.  When she finally got home after walking with only her shirt over her mouth and nose, it was to an apartment filled with ash and dust.  She has been told she has 9/11 cough.  I am thankful she is alive, that she wasn’t on the subway at the wrong time on her way to work, but still her life will never be the same.


I think that day should always haunt us.  I think it should always remind us to stand strong together.  I wish the streets were still lined with US flags as they were immediately after that day.  I think we need to continue to work to understand all the people in our world to find peaceful resolutions to conflicts.  I think we need to remember we are strong, but can be vulnerable.

I really am going to participate in Freddie for a Day one year.  My boss said she’d let me do it.  I need to pick an ensemble and just do it next year.  Put a reminder to myself on my work calendar to start prepping for it in July or something so I don’t forget.  I miss him.  I wish I could hear new songs from him and wish I could hear how his voice would have matured with age.  It was so gorgeous and full of so many emotions.  So rich.  Ah, Freddie, hope you had a hell of party today.

I sharpened pencils tonight.  40 of them-which means my sons are each four pencils short since they are each supposed to bring two dozen.  They can get more later.  I have double and triple checked their new backpacks.  They are set.  Hubby and I gave them new flashcards (math, history, and science) to celebrate tomorrow’s first day of school.  Older son also got a magnetic message board for his locker (first year with a locker!) and younger son got a new backpack clip.  We then asked them what time it is…and they answered with some random responses…dinner time, bedtime, back to school time.  Hubby and I finally said “Adventure Time” and gave them season 1 on dvd.  We watched a few episodes tonight.  Both boys were exhausted this evening and willingly climbed into their beds.  Younger son didn’t come out even once, just closed his heavy lids and fell asleep.  Older son was asleep even more quickly than usual.  It felt like there was a release for them.  Summer is over.  Back to routine.

I’m not going to walk older son to his classroom tomorrow.  Time to give him space.  He’s ready.  I am going to walk younger son to his classroom just in case the boy who spread the rumor is in the same class.  I want younger son to have a good first day and he may need some parental support to walk through the door.  If he decides in the morning to go it alone, I’ll let him.  But if he needs me, I’ll be there for him.

If only I could protect them from ever having their feelings hurt again or more deeply than they have already experienced.  I can’t-I have to let them feel it, live it on their own.  I can comfort, celebrate, and share in their lives.  I hope they learn to play the game, by the rules, while still having fun.  They are two of the loves of my life (Hubby’s the other!).

 

Where the hell did I go?

Time disappeared.  I escaped into a little time warp where technology took a backseat and life slowed down for a little bit.  The family and I spent some time together doing nothing in particular and some special stuff too.

Then somehow it was the beginning of the school year.  A fourth grader and a second grader start school on Thursday.  I start teaching tomorrow.  There was a shift this year though.  My focus has remained on my sons.  I haven’t neglected prepping for my class, and I think tomorrow will go well.  But the majority of my preparations have been for my sons.  Older son is excited to have a locker this year and feels he has made great strides in not talking as much as he used to talk.  Younger son is worried that the boy who spread a rumor about him last year will make his life miserable again this year.

Why do six year old boys spread rumors that another six year old boy poops his pants?  Do they not realize that the boy will carry that memory from first grade all the way through turning seven and moving up to second grade?  Younger son is uber focused on that instead of  school.  I’ve spent a lot of time in the past two weeks building his self-esteem and reminding him that he does not in fact poop in his pants so he has nothing to worry about.

At least he hasn’t remember when the toilet overflowed in the kindergarten restroom after he was done in there.  If he does, he may never return to school.  Here’s hoping that second grade is smoother for the little dude.

And I’ll wager older son will get busted for talking in class by the second week of school.  Just call him Verbal Kint.

Oh, how I love my sons.

This is what oldest son said to me this evening as I tucked him into bed.  I asked a question about something that had happened in his room today and he was telling me nothing happened.  I asked again (because he’s nine) and a smile broke out across his face.  I stared into his eyes to determine if he was telling me the truth.  That’s when he said, “I’m a kid, I can’t keep a straight face.”  Then I couldn’t keep a straight face.

Still, he falls asleep almost immediately.  He wakes up quickly and falls asleep quickly.  Unlike youngest son.  He takes a long time to wake up and to fall asleep.  In fact, he’s walking up and down the hallway as I type this t 10:50 pm.  I have decided he will have to go to bed at 7:30 so he can actually be asleep by 9:00.  I will do this tomorrow because he is driving me a little bit batty.

He keeps declaring things like “I’m not happy and you’re probably happy that I’m not happy.”  Yes, I am aware that I have my work cut out for me.  We’ve been working on the art of conversation.  We’re trying to get him to express himself using words instead of just hitting himself on the head when he’s frustrated.  He’s never been a big talker.  He will talk a lot when his brother is not around, but that doesn’t happen often.  Perhaps that’s why he keeps coming out from his bedroom each night.  He knows oldest son is fast asleep so he has me to himself.

Oh, but I am tired.  I do hope he falls asleep soon.  Why do kids always want to have the deep conversations at 10:30 at night?  Why can’t we have a philosophical conversation about happiness at 4:00 in the afternoon?

 

 

 

Over the summer I spent time thinking about the simple joys.  A friend asked about our bathrobes.  The boys each have their own-younger son’s robe is black with grey skulls…very him.  Hubby and I gave robes to each other as presents early on in our relationship.  Oldest son has a red and black robe.  They are all soft and cuddly.  And they all keep a person from being naked.  A robe’s purpose is simple.  I had never given thought to the idea of all the comforts a robe brings to a person.  Like I said, keeps you from being naked after a shower.  But layered over pajamas and it makes you warm and cuddly when you need it.  When you are sick, lying around all day in your robe is about the best thing you can do.  Out of work?  Walk around with your robe over your clothes, just makes you feel better.  It’s a great part of your wardrobe that you may have taken for granted.  This friend didn’t have a robe.  He does now.  After we gave it to him (early birthday present), he wore it all weekend.  He gets the simple joys of a robe.

I have friends and coworkers that have summer homes.  Many times they share stories about the fun times they have at these places.  Other times though, they simply talk about all of the work involved in maintaining the summer houses.  Now I am not fortunate enough to own a summer home.  I hope if I ever get to that point, I will remember what I just wrote…fortunate enough to own a summer home.  If I feel like I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the upkeep, I’ll remember just to rent a summer house.  In the meantime, hubby and I have taken to calling our screened-in gazebo the “summer home”.  Very little upkeep involved here.  Put it up in the spring, take it down in the fall.  Any moments spent in our backyard at the “summer home” are wonderful.  The boys use it a fort.  Simple-poles, screen, and some plastic yard chairs but the immediate feel of a summer home.  It captures the essence of a summer place which is simply a different place than normal.

I accomplished a “Trading Spaces” type remodel to youngest son’s bedroom.  He walked in when I was almost done and he had such joy on his face.  The part I enjoyed was adding the simple details.  A picture from camp tape to the side of his bookshelves so he can see it each morning.  A sheep with wool that his Nana gave out in his class last year taped above the picture.  These are some of the things that are clearly important to this seven-year-old since he’s kept track of them for longer than a week.  I tried to see the room from his point of view.  He still liked how it is painted (the shark from Jaws on one wall, hammerheads, giant squid, jellyfish, octopus on the other walls).  He just wanted it to feel like he had more space to play.  We got him a futon and he loves it.  Rearranged the dresser, desk, and shelves and he feels like he has a brand new room.  I’m doing the same for oldest son.  The simple catch is they have to keep it clean as this is the last time I’ll do an overhaul like this (at least till they are teenagers-which isn’t that far away).  So the simple task for me is to teach maintenance.  I get to be the mean mommy and help them remember to tidy as they go.

We finally got a game system.  One simple joy of an X-Box is bowling.  We laughed and laughed and got lots of strikes and gutters.  Younger son is really good at boxing and this makes me glad it is a video game and only the avatar got hurt!  Still, after playing with X-Box for an hour, the boys asked to play a game of Scrabble.  I’m glad I have an old board that has wood tiles.  I heard the wood tiles have gone the way of the dodo.

Finally, a simple joy I keep summoning up to my mind’s eye is hubby teaching the boys how to skip stones.  Does summer and life get any better than that?  I don’t think so.

Enjoy the simple joys.

 

 

Snapshots from a week

Wonderful vacation with my family.  Fossils, food, fun, freedom from reality.

Home to an angry cat.  El Tigre was furious with us.  The other two cats, older, wiser, were fine with the house being free of loud, fast, young boys playing superheroes.

Then, to make nice, El Tigre killed a rabbit and presented it at the front door.  Bigger than the moles he usually gives to us.  Ewwwww.  I was happily at work when he presented this gift.

Root canal this morning.  I love going to the dentist.  I truly do enjoy it.  It is a time when I know no one can reach me.  I’m totally free to relax and be away from the world.  I enjoy root canals.  But today’s work was not stellar.  It involved three roots (molar) and to sum up, burning medicine ran down my throat and there was vomit involved when they tried to get an x-ray in the middle of the procedure.  That was a first for me.  But we finished it in 95 minutes.  In two weeks I go back for round two on this tooth.  Hopefully it won’t take as long and there will be no vomit.

Trying to get the boys back on the school schedule.  Slow going.  But we’ll get there.

And now it is bedtime for me.  After another pain pill.  Ow, my mouth hurts.

And I love House reruns.

Fossils

We had quite the lovely adventure searching for fossils this weekend.  Boys are watching Destination Truth as I document our findings.  They are in a very questful mood!

 

 

 

Above:  Not sure what this is a fossil of but it reminds me (and hubby) of those candy buttons that came on a strip of paper and were all different colors.

A rather nice example of a trilobite.  Oldest son found this on our second day.

In the photo above I think it may be a coral fossil.  It’s cute as a button in the center of the photo.  The photo below has a nice example of a brachiopod toward the right.  I believe below that in the stone, toward the center, may be part of a crinoid fossil.

 

 

Younger son found this partial trilobite (above, upper right of stone).  The depth of it is neat, compared to the depth of older son’s find.

I believe the fossil above (toward the upper center of the stone) and below (upper right of stone) are bryozoans.  They are fan-like and, in my opinion, very delicate looking.  Very gentle.  In the bottom photo, there also seems to be a fossil of a brchiopod.  Look to the left of the bryozoan.  It looks like a little seashell.

 

It was exciting for me as I always wished I could be a paleontologist when I was younger.  I did not force this interest in either of my sons, but when they discovered dinosaurs and fossils, I certainly supported it.  They both had fun in the dust this weekend, looking at stones from pre-history.  Both handled the spiders really well too.  Hubby did too.  One photo that will have to wait to be posted till next year since I didn’t take one with my camera is the one in my mind’s eye.  As I walked through some of the trails today, I noticed the amazing amount of quiet.  I also noticed the beautiful layer of ferns growing in this wooded area.  It transported me back.  You could feel the sense of history, the millions of years of existence, ever-changing with the times.  Another moment of my own destination truth.