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Brigs and the first snow

January 4, 2012 by pinkpigrulz

I am so thankful for my 12-year-old diabetic dog.  He has the call of nature a lot and this evening, as I muttered under my breath because he was barking after 10pm, I shoved my feet in my snow boots simply because they were the easiest to put on my feet.  Turns out I chose the proper footwear because Brigs, while needing the outdoors for nature’s call, also sensed the first snow had arrived.

Brigs has loved the snow since he was a puppy.  As a lab, one would expect him to love water, but he never has.  But snow…snow…Brigs loves snow.  And tonight we shared the first snow of 2012.  I will love the memory of him walking around tonight, face up to the sky, as the snowflakes fell on his big old body.  Happy first snow, puppy.

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Rotten bananas

January 4, 2012 by pinkpigrulz

Bananas are about the best fruit in the world.  When ripe, we use them in so many ways: sliced on top of cereal, banana split sundae, funky monkey bread, as a delicious stand-alone fruit snack.  This can be said of many fruits.  But I ask you this: how many fruits do we get equally excited about when they are just about rotten?

Almost-rotten bananas make lovely banana bread…or as I recently snacked on courtesy of a friend at work…lovely banana chocolate chip cookies.  Not a lot of things have a second life upon rotting.

What other things in life get a second life?  We all love to donate our goods to various charities because it’s the socially acceptable thing to do.  Reuse, recycle.  Find another use for an item.  I feel though as if our society is missing the bigger picture.  We didn’t waste as much before.  We were more resourceful.  Now we recycle yet so many things have become disposable.

Imagine if we went fully back to the idea of local.  A dairy farm in every area.  Reusable glass bottles versus the plastic gallon jugs.  Local farms, butchers, small-town doctors.  I feel like other countries get this idea and haven’t over-expanded as we have.  We are so hung up on status, stuff, and schedules.  I have less and less interest in this type of existence.

Yet at the same time I’m planning to take my sons to the store tomorrow so they can get Pokemon cards.  Where is the balance?  How do I keep my sons’ priorities balanced?  How do I keep my own priorities balanced?  Where is the place between ripe and rotten?

I’d love to stumble upon the answers but I am not that smart.  All I can do is remember that one is enough for anyone and let that guide the choices I make regarding the material things in life.  Little by little I whittle down the “stuff” we have placing the focus on needs and a few wants.  It’s tough to keep that focus.  The boys float from craze to craze, fad to fad, ripe banana to rotten banana.

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Fireworks in 2011

December 31, 2011 by pinkpigrulz

We spent the last day of 2011 hanging around, doing little projects, and simply being together.  McDonald’s for the boys and Lim Fong’s for us.  Friends marathon in the dvd player all day.  Reorganized my Stephen King bookshelves.  Then my favorite part of New Year’s Eve-watching the fireworks from the comfort of our own home.

I love our house.  It’s got a lot of great stuff for a family.  One of the coolest things about our house though is being able to watch the fireworks from any of our front windows.  We sat there saying “ooooh” and “aaah” and for fun, “eew”, “eehh” and other various groaning noises.  The boys sat together watching with my hubby and I next to them.  This is a grand tradition.  As good as the Mummers.  With warmth and a decent bathroom only steps away, for me, it’s even better than the Mummers.  Plus there’s no crowd.

Happy New Year’s to all!  See you in 2012!

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Winter Simplicity

December 28, 2011 by pinkpigrulz

There are many goals I set for this winter break, as I have the three previous years since starting at my job.  I have even accomplished some of those goals.  Yet today I have thrown motivation to the wind for a marathon of Cartoon Network with my sons.  We watched Scooby Doo and the Legend of the Phantosaur.  Now however they are watching the Amazing World of Gumball and it makes me physically sick.  I owe my sons thanks for helping me rediscover my motivation for my little goals.

Today’s goals are to clean my bedroom and paint the Brachiosaurus on the boys’ wall.  It’s been sketched on the wall for months.  Paint colors are chosen.  Just need to paint it.  The bedroom is another story.  It has become the dumping ground for things I don’t know what to do with.  I now need to grab a garbage bag and be “mean” about whether or not the items are actually important enough to save and find a home for.  The only good thing about letting these piles sit for months at a time is that when I finally do get to them, most of the stuff has become moot simply because of the passage of time.

The best thing on a personal level is not starting any new projects this week.  That’s one of my big problems.  I have thirty projects half finished and rather than finish even a few, I start twenty more.  Yes, starting a project feels great-an easy step forward showing clear progress, but I am focusing instead on the completion of projects to feel that sense of progress.  I will clean the bedroom, the shark room, and finish the two bathrooms before next Monday.  And now that anyone who reads this knows I’ve set these goals, you can check me on my progress and give me a good kick in the virtual butt if I get lazy.

One compliment to Amazing World of Gumball…nice use of the word “wretched”.  I told my sons they could use that word.

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The Sour Cosmos

December 26, 2011 by pinkpigrulz

What a wonderful holiday celebration in our home over the past few days.  Christmas Eve service was beautiful.  A lovely change was instead of singing “Silent Night” our wonderful minister of music played it on the harp.  Breathtaking to hear such beautiful music in the glow of over one hundred candles.

Santa finally left our home at 3:30.  My sons woke us up at 4:15.  Yes, you read that correctly.  We’re still recovering.  The boys loved their presents.  Our youngest really loves his bike.  The oldest is somewhat reserved about his bike because there are no training wheels.  He’ll get there.  It’s time for him to learn this skill.  It was simply a morning filled with happiness, love, and laughter.  Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, nibbling on candies and cookies throughout the day.  The house was cleaner than I usually manage.  The coffee table had the cheese, crackers, and cheese ball, plus the pretzels with the Hershey kisses with the M&M’s goodies.  The chess table had candies and a platter of cookies. The dining room table had both leaves in it decorated with festive holiday settings.  I even remembered to light the candles in the wall sconces and the “Believe” Nativity candle holder.

Then for several hours our home was filled with family enjoying the food, the festivity of the season, and whiskey sours and cosmopolitans.  Life was good.

The boys were exhausted but wouldn’t take naps…or so I thought until I found our youngest snug-as-a-bug in his bed, sound asleep.

Laughter filled the rooms.  Good aromas filled the air.  Yummy food filled the tummies.  A Christmas Story played over and over in the background. The very old dog even got some turkey brought down to him as a special “we’ll pretend you’re not diabetic” treat.  I happily stayed up washing dishes so I wouldn’t face them in the morning to keep the feeling going.

Another fun-filled evening at my folks’ house this evening with more laughter and love.

Tomorrow night my brother-in-law and his lovely wife will be over for the “left-overs” dinner.  But it’s not just left-over food in my house.  The vibrant memories are still lingering within the walls of our home.

‘Tis the season to be jolly and joyous, fa-la-la!

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The Christmas Spirit

December 23, 2011 by pinkpigrulz

Fair warning…I am writing about Christmas.  If you do not celebrate this holiday, I am not writing this to offend you, but merely to exercise my right to be a Christian and celebrate my faith.  So if it bothers you when a Christian uses her right to freedom of religion now is a good time to stop reading so you don’t get angry at me.

That said-we watched Muppet Christmas Carol twice today.  I’m watching the Monk Christmas episodes and will begin baking cookies very soon.  Tomorrow evening we’ll go to church for the Christmas Eve service.  It’s one of my favorite services of the year.  During the minutes when the church is lit only by candles and we sing “Silent Night” I am filled with a feeling like no other.  When we get home, the boys will listen to Scott read the “Night Before Christmas” and I’ll take their picture next to the empty stockings.  They’ll be tucked into bed and then the fun really begins.

As Santa works, he always watches the marathon of A Christmas Story.  After about the fourth go-around, he gets to go to bed.  This year Santa tagged everything in advance so perhaps Santa will only see the movie three times before collapsing into bed.  Last thing Santa does before falling into bed is adding the baby Jesus to the Nativity set.  The Wise Men don’t come out till Epiphany so they still get to hang out for a couple of weeks.

One of the things I love about this time of year is the wonderful sense of antici…pation.  I love reflecting on the birth of Jesus.  With the birth of each of my sons I was completely overwhelmed with emotion, thoughts, questions, answers.  My entire world changed.  How must it have felt to give birth to the Savior?  I cannot fathom.  The strength and faith that resided within Mary are levels that I will most likely never have, but I try.  The whole concept of grace and parenting fills my daily thoughts.  To let your child grow into his own potential.  To provide guidance, support, and respect so he knows he can figure out who he is and make good choices.  To fill his days with love and faith and grace.  To help him make the memories that will shape his future.  Oh, the joy of parenting is heightened at this time of year.  The anticipation I felt with each pregnancy, wondering if the baby would be a boy or girl, wondering what the baby would look like.  This time of year always brings back those memories as I think about the anticipation Mary must have felt.  Every mother feels it, but I would presume it may have been heightened for her.

And the anticipation in the children is fantastic.  It’s harder to focus on some things, but their focus on waiting for Christmas morning is solid.  While this young, more of the focus does fall to the big guy in red, but the moments my sons have shared with me as they have thought about the birth of Jesus warm my heart.  They have asked more detail questions this year than previous years.  They’ve wondered if it was warm or cold, what kinds of animals were there, how long did it take the Wise Men to get there, why did they bring gifts, is that why we get gifts, so many questions.  I answer as best as I can.  The only thing I do is try to not destroy their sense of wonder.

May your Christmas celebration be filled with the love Mary and Joseph felt that wonderful day.  May the spirit of God fill your heart and soul.  May you make beautiful memories with your families and friends.  Happy Christmas!

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Really? I’m supposed to feel this tired?

December 22, 2011 by pinkpigrulz

A few years ago I was feeling tired and sore all the time.  Went to lots of appointments, found an unrelated growth in the left ovary (bye, bye left ovary) and was finally told I have fibromyalgia and may have had it for years.  I used to take one of the meds that can be used to treat it for another issue but went off that med as we were trying to get pregnant.  Then I was pregnant, nursing, pregnant, nursing and so attributed the physical pain to that.  Yet after finishing nursing with my youngest, I still felt pain all the time and really tired and all the other lovely symptoms that go with fibromyalgia.

I choose not to use the medicines because of the dreadful side effects.  With that choice, there is a lot of pain.  Usually it is tolerable.  Lately though it has been taking a lot of effort to get through the work day.  By the time I get home, I am completely wiped.  I make sure to use whatever energy I can summon up to have time with my sons and then I collapse.

My hands hurt.  My wrists, ankles, knees, hips, shoulders.  My appetite is inconsistent.  There are other issues but no one really wants to read about those particularly if you just ate, are about to eat, or ever want to enjoy eating again.

Please know that while this really does sound like a whiny series of complaints, it is not meant to be.  I am simply stating my daily existence.  It’s a blessed existence and I can handle it, but I’m behind right now in prepping for the holidays.  I am mostly writing about this to reaffirm for myself that it does not have to be perfect, family knows what one’s house truly looks like, and the boys will have an awesome Christmas making lovely new memories to cherish forever.

And I will have over a week to not have to go to work.  I love my job.  I’ve had a particularly lovely semester.  I just cannot believe how tired I am.  Remember, I’m not old, I’m cultured.  Yet I feel ancient.  The pain in my fingers when I type is almost unbearable.  Yes, I appreciate the irony that I’m typing right now.  My ability to write with a pen or pencil is failing miserably.  My signature is unrecognizable to me at this point.

But over a week without having to go through the almost 30 mile commute and all the miserable people who drive without regard for the other cars on the highway.  Over a week to be with my sons and husband.  Over a week to work on our home during the few hours each day when the pain is not as bad.  I can get adjustments from my hubby and maybe my right arm will stop being numb.

Okay, this is a whiny series of complaints.  Pity party is over.  I would love to write that I feel empowered and rejuvenated from getting this off my chest.  But I am still simply going to go to bed.  Good night.

 

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Simplicity and hoarders

December 19, 2011 by pinkpigrulz

The other day I attended a lovely holiday shindig.  The home was extremely clean and tastefully decorated.  Yet there were very few items that seemed to possess sentimental value.  The house had no clutter anywhere.  Even the storage spaces were tidy and organized.  I realized if the owner of this house came into my house she would think she had walked into an episode of Hoarders.  So I began to wonder if my “hoarding” is connected to something.

The things in my house are hard to get rid of because I feel an emotional connection to them.  Yet I know I don’t want to keep many of these things for a long time only to then throw them away.  But I don’t want my home to feel sterile.  When I was younger, some of my friends’ houses seemed that way, like nothing in it belonged to them or meant anything to them.  How do I figure out what is crap, if you’ll pardon the expression, and what truly has value, enough to keep?

Then my thoughts wandered to my quest for simplicity and how the clutter simply does not work with simplicity.  And really, do I need the “things” that remind me if the memories?  I stopped saving every movie ticket stub years ago, yet after seeing The Muppets with my sons I find it difficult to throw those stubs out.  It’s not like I won’t have the memory of the theater experience without the tickets and they don’t really help me remember anything except the day and time we went-but I don’t actually care about that-I care about the smiles, the laughs, and the conversations we had that day.  So no, I don’t need the stubs.  I don’t need the cards, the ribbons, the stuff.  I keep the memories in my heart.

Life would be so much simpler without the stuff.  I will be off from work next week for the holiday and will be the queen of purge.  The quest for simplicity without sterilization continues.

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Buying on credit

December 15, 2011 by pinkpigrulz

Our sons have been resisting a certain fast-food chain in exchange for $10 a week to spend on Jurassic Park toys on ebay.  They went two weeks the first time and then went three weeks the second time.  Today was the end of the three weeks.  Onto ebay we went to search for a command compound.  Well, we found a lot of 60 JP toys for a reasonable amount that to them seemed huge.  The boys wished we had that much money hanging around.

So, we grasped the teachable moment.  We told them together they had $60.  That left quite a balance.  We had a long family discussion about their options from the Bank of Mom & Dad.  We explained what credit is, the conditions of repayment, and what happens if they don’t pay it back.  The two boys deliberated, asked what types of chores would be involved as Jurassic Park chores, and discussed it back and forth for a long time (for an eight and six year old).

They decided to buy on credit from the Bank of Mom & Dad.

They shook on the deal.

They stood on either side of me as I clicked “Buy It Now.”

They cheered!

They are now the proud owners of 6 JP vehicles, 3 T-rexes, about 20 dinosaurs (many with sounds or actions), about 20 action figures, a motorcycle, a fence compound with classic JP gates, and a Chaos Effect mobile command center.  They each grabbed a juice box and toasted their investment.  Then, being young boys, they began divvying up the toys.

They are now in bed, having difficulty falling asleep because it feels quite a bit like Christmas…except they paid for the toys.  The older son came out to ask if he could read a story to his brother to help him fall asleep.  He grabbed the big blue book (it’s a big thick book of children’s literature…same one I had growing up…a gift from my mom).   As I eavesdropped on the reading, I heard  “Night Before Christmas” being read.

Their Jurassic Park room just got a lot of cool accessories.  And we hopefully taught them a little something about managing their money and responsibility.

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A bad penny

December 14, 2011 by pinkpigrulz

You remember that expression?  Keeps coming back like a bad penny?  Whatever the expression, I was on a board until this past October.  Here it is December and board members are still regularly contacting me.  I no longer have the information.  I have nothing to offer anymore, I am burned out beyond believe to the point of feeling bitter toward something I used to really love.  I know over time I will enjoy it again, but please stop asking me if I am coming to the next meeting.  If I were to go to the next meeting, wouldn’t that somewhat defeat the point of going off the board?  If I weren’t burnt out, perhaps I would want to go, but the other problem is that I work that weekend which is why I wasn’t at the last January meeting.

I feel like I am being mean in trying to cut myself away but they keep writing and calling.  I feel like I have been backed into a corner.  The position is in my (recent) past, in my present I do not want it right now, and in my future I hope to be able to embrace it again.  I also hope my sons continue to embrace it, but at the moment I am so frustrated I don’t want them to see that.  Part of the reason I announced I would not have a second term over a year before the first term was over.

Let me explain, no it will take too long, let me sum up.  Family can be a tricky thing.

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