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Posts Tagged ‘children’

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on September 14, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

The change in younger son continues to be amazing.  We scheduled an appointment for January 3rd (the first available date) with a pediatric neurologist for younger son.  His behavior over the past nine months had dramatic changes.  He developed three distinct facial tics.  He became very angry and reacted violently to the most random situations.  You could ask him if he wanted vanilla or chocolate ice cream and he would hit his head and scream that he was useless and run to his room, slamming the door in your face.  He continually said how useless he was, how stupid he was, how he shouldn’t be alive.  He was six years old.  Then he was seven years old and it continued to get worse.  No six- or seven-year old should be talking about how he is a mistake.

So we started watching him closely.  Hubby and I noticed the one really big head tic.  Then we noticed the mouth tic.  Finally we made note of the blinking pattern.  So we called the pediatrician.  Then we called the pediatric neurologist.  And we tried to use different approaches to start helping him.  Then we started to prep him for starting school again.

On the first day of school, I told his teacher that we were going to have him evaluated for Tourette syndrome and gave her a quick list of his tics and warning signs that he was reaching his limit and would then shut down or get violent.  I told her that he had been worried about going back to school for three weeks, not sleeping well, not eating.  She was on it and ready to work with him.

Younger son came home from school that first day beaming.  Second day-shared details about “all the learning”.  And the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth day.  His teacher emailed me and wrote what a sweet, sweet boy he is, how smart, how excited to learn.  He’s happily done his homework each day and is keeping his room clean too!  He reads to me with energy and enthusiasm.  Haven’t seen the tics.  His teacher reports the same in the classroom-happy, sweet boy who loves to learn.

Tonight I asked younger son how smart he is.  I asked if he was “very”, “very, very”, or “very, very, very” smart.  He thought for a moment and then asked if we could watch Mary Poppins.  I replied yes, but why?  He said, “because I’m supercalifragilisticexpialidocious smart!”

My guess is I’ll be able to cancel that January appointment.  And schedule one instead with the principal.

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Simple quests filling my days

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on September 12, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Quests.  I’ve written of them before and I am sure I will write of them in the future again.  Tonight, gentle reader, I write again of achieving simple quests as a part of simplicity and grace.  Challenges come in all shapes and sizes.  Sometimes you face really large ones and other times the quest is comprised of many little ones, gathering force from the quantity of them.

Work can provide plenty of challenges.  At this time of year, for me, it’s the sheer quantity of tasks that need to be completed yesterday that create quests.  Quests to finish even one task in one sitting!  Doesn’t ever happen but one can aspire to have that happen.  These quests are seasonal and will return again next fall.

The quests at home are more fun at the moment.  We are still working on the K’Nex.  It’s gigantic.  We have about 95 steps left till it’s complete.  It’s a quest with an end in sight and it’s fun.  The boys and I do a few steps every few days or so and we’re enjoying the journey…just as they’ll enjoy playing with it once it is finished.

A quest that seems to have connected with my sons is keeping up with their rooms.  It’s exciting!  They also have been helping with the other parts of the house.  Granted, younger son created a little village of fear in the living room today.  As I pulled into the driveway he was heading into the shed.  I asked what he was doing and he said he needed more Halloween decorations.  We compromised on using some decorations from the attic.  He even asked if he could keep it set up for a couple of days till he was done constructing it.  Then we’d take pictures and he would take it down.

As we closed the shed he asked if he could me with anything from the car.  I beamed.  I hugged him.  I misted up just a bit that he asked.  He carried in one my bags and reminded me that he is really strong so he could carry an even heavier one.

Simple events, each one.  And each filled my heart with grace.  Remember–life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.  Lennon was right.  Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around every once in a while you could miss it.  Bueller was right too.

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Sons

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , on September 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »

This evening my sons filled me up with joy which is exactly what I needed when I got home.  Younger son is having a rocking time in second grade.  He has wonderful stories each day about “all the learning” he did.  He spoke excitedly about math class today and read me a chapter from a Goosebumps book.  Then we talked about family and ended with tickling as I tucked him into bed.  He loves to be tickled and I love the way he giggles.

Older son is having a very “serious” start to the fourth grade.  He is rather focused on being a studious young chap.  He asks questions with a more mature tone now about managing friendships and navigating the social aspects of school.  It is interesting to watch him shift to a pre-teen framework.  New things are taking priority in his mind’s eye, not just girls, but schoolwork, music, and television shows.  His own social strata is forming (that I will be allowed in for now).

Younger son has also determined he is afraid of the dark.  I’m not buying it.  It’s another reason to come back out of his room in his never-ending attempt to delay falling asleep.  Then he bats his long, dark eyelashes at me, sure that will get me to cave.  It didn’t.  He’s still just as adorable as he does it, but I know that game.  Still, he’s been going to bed earlier which means he falls asleep earlier.  Some nights he’s plumb tuckered out and falls asleep as quickly as older son does.  Tonight I could fall asleep as quickly as older son.  Just waiting to hear younger son’s snores echoing down the hall.

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Happy Birthday Freddie Mercury

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on September 5, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I really am going to participate in Freddie for a Day one year.  My boss said she’d let me do it.  I need to pick an ensemble and just do it next year.  Put a reminder to myself on my work calendar to start prepping for it in July or something so I don’t forget.  I miss him.  I wish I could hear new songs from him and wish I could hear how his voice would have matured with age.  It was so gorgeous and full of so many emotions.  So rich.  Ah, Freddie, hope you had a hell of party today.

I sharpened pencils tonight.  40 of them-which means my sons are each four pencils short since they are each supposed to bring two dozen.  They can get more later.  I have double and triple checked their new backpacks.  They are set.  Hubby and I gave them new flashcards (math, history, and science) to celebrate tomorrow’s first day of school.  Older son also got a magnetic message board for his locker (first year with a locker!) and younger son got a new backpack clip.  We then asked them what time it is…and they answered with some random responses…dinner time, bedtime, back to school time.  Hubby and I finally said “Adventure Time” and gave them season 1 on dvd.  We watched a few episodes tonight.  Both boys were exhausted this evening and willingly climbed into their beds.  Younger son didn’t come out even once, just closed his heavy lids and fell asleep.  Older son was asleep even more quickly than usual.  It felt like there was a release for them.  Summer is over.  Back to routine.

I’m not going to walk older son to his classroom tomorrow.  Time to give him space.  He’s ready.  I am going to walk younger son to his classroom just in case the boy who spread the rumor is in the same class.  I want younger son to have a good first day and he may need some parental support to walk through the door.  If he decides in the morning to go it alone, I’ll let him.  But if he needs me, I’ll be there for him.

If only I could protect them from ever having their feelings hurt again or more deeply than they have already experienced.  I can’t-I have to let them feel it, live it on their own.  I can comfort, celebrate, and share in their lives.  I hope they learn to play the game, by the rules, while still having fun.  They are two of the loves of my life (Hubby’s the other!).

 

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Where the hell did I go?

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , on September 4, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Time disappeared.  I escaped into a little time warp where technology took a backseat and life slowed down for a little bit.  The family and I spent some time together doing nothing in particular and some special stuff too.

Then somehow it was the beginning of the school year.  A fourth grader and a second grader start school on Thursday.  I start teaching tomorrow.  There was a shift this year though.  My focus has remained on my sons.  I haven’t neglected prepping for my class, and I think tomorrow will go well.  But the majority of my preparations have been for my sons.  Older son is excited to have a locker this year and feels he has made great strides in not talking as much as he used to talk.  Younger son is worried that the boy who spread a rumor about him last year will make his life miserable again this year.

Why do six year old boys spread rumors that another six year old boy poops his pants?  Do they not realize that the boy will carry that memory from first grade all the way through turning seven and moving up to second grade?  Younger son is uber focused on that instead of  school.  I’ve spent a lot of time in the past two weeks building his self-esteem and reminding him that he does not in fact poop in his pants so he has nothing to worry about.

At least he hasn’t remember when the toilet overflowed in the kindergarten restroom after he was done in there.  If he does, he may never return to school.  Here’s hoping that second grade is smoother for the little dude.

And I’ll wager older son will get busted for talking in class by the second week of school.  Just call him Verbal Kint.

Oh, how I love my sons.

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Simplicity and simple joys

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , on August 20, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Over the summer I spent time thinking about the simple joys.  A friend asked about our bathrobes.  The boys each have their own-younger son’s robe is black with grey skulls…very him.  Hubby and I gave robes to each other as presents early on in our relationship.  Oldest son has a red and black robe.  They are all soft and cuddly.  And they all keep a person from being naked.  A robe’s purpose is simple.  I had never given thought to the idea of all the comforts a robe brings to a person.  Like I said, keeps you from being naked after a shower.  But layered over pajamas and it makes you warm and cuddly when you need it.  When you are sick, lying around all day in your robe is about the best thing you can do.  Out of work?  Walk around with your robe over your clothes, just makes you feel better.  It’s a great part of your wardrobe that you may have taken for granted.  This friend didn’t have a robe.  He does now.  After we gave it to him (early birthday present), he wore it all weekend.  He gets the simple joys of a robe.

I have friends and coworkers that have summer homes.  Many times they share stories about the fun times they have at these places.  Other times though, they simply talk about all of the work involved in maintaining the summer houses.  Now I am not fortunate enough to own a summer home.  I hope if I ever get to that point, I will remember what I just wrote…fortunate enough to own a summer home.  If I feel like I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the upkeep, I’ll remember just to rent a summer house.  In the meantime, hubby and I have taken to calling our screened-in gazebo the “summer home”.  Very little upkeep involved here.  Put it up in the spring, take it down in the fall.  Any moments spent in our backyard at the “summer home” are wonderful.  The boys use it a fort.  Simple-poles, screen, and some plastic yard chairs but the immediate feel of a summer home.  It captures the essence of a summer place which is simply a different place than normal.

I accomplished a “Trading Spaces” type remodel to youngest son’s bedroom.  He walked in when I was almost done and he had such joy on his face.  The part I enjoyed was adding the simple details.  A picture from camp tape to the side of his bookshelves so he can see it each morning.  A sheep with wool that his Nana gave out in his class last year taped above the picture.  These are some of the things that are clearly important to this seven-year-old since he’s kept track of them for longer than a week.  I tried to see the room from his point of view.  He still liked how it is painted (the shark from Jaws on one wall, hammerheads, giant squid, jellyfish, octopus on the other walls).  He just wanted it to feel like he had more space to play.  We got him a futon and he loves it.  Rearranged the dresser, desk, and shelves and he feels like he has a brand new room.  I’m doing the same for oldest son.  The simple catch is they have to keep it clean as this is the last time I’ll do an overhaul like this (at least till they are teenagers-which isn’t that far away).  So the simple task for me is to teach maintenance.  I get to be the mean mommy and help them remember to tidy as they go.

We finally got a game system.  One simple joy of an X-Box is bowling.  We laughed and laughed and got lots of strikes and gutters.  Younger son is really good at boxing and this makes me glad it is a video game and only the avatar got hurt!  Still, after playing with X-Box for an hour, the boys asked to play a game of Scrabble.  I’m glad I have an old board that has wood tiles.  I heard the wood tiles have gone the way of the dodo.

Finally, a simple joy I keep summoning up to my mind’s eye is hubby teaching the boys how to skip stones.  Does summer and life get any better than that?  I don’t think so.

Enjoy the simple joys.

 

 

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My Lunch with Christopher Walken

Posted in My lunch with..., tagged , , , , , , , on July 26, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Our lunch would be cooked by Chris and probably involve spaghetti.  I watched The Best of Christopher Walken on Saturday Night Live tonight and the man is simply hysterical.  Even with a crap sketch, Walken gives a classic performance.  My favorite skit on SNL with him is one called “The Continental”.   “It’s time to meet The Continental!”  I know he played the character more than once and if memory serves, in one of the skits, I think he loses it a wee bit.

Someone on youtube has cut together ten minutes of Christopher saying “is more cowbell”.  We are quite fascinated by this man.  I loved him in The Dead Zone.  Obviously his classic scene in Pulp Fiction.  Sleepy Hollow.  Love all of his work. As the dad in Blast from the Past-he just makes sense in that role.  I would love to see him on stage.  And I love when he dances.

Some quotes attributed to him from IMDb that are interesting…

“I never was a big fan of school, to tell you the truth. I never had kids, but I suspect if I did, I wouldn’t encourage them to go to school. I never liked it myself. I was always grateful for being taught to read. I figured that once that had been done for me, that’s the big thing. A little bit of adding, subtracting, multiplying, that sort of thing. And you have to learn to write, at least a letter. But beyond that, I think people are over-educated. I think education will come if you want it. I read what I want to read, so that’s what I know about. You can’t know everything, so you should concentrate on what you’re interested in. The whole concept of general education-I think it makes for vague minds.”

“I use punctuation, but I finish the sentence and put [in] a period but it’s not necessarily where somebody else would. I think everybody should talk the way they want. You go to school and you all sit there and all learn to do the same thing. I guess it’s necessary but it’s too bad also, in a way. Kids, you know, get kind of restrained in a lot of ways. I probably wouldn’t get a job as an English teacher.”

I would LOVE him as an English teacher.  Could you imagine how entertaining The Turn of the Screw could be if taught to you by Chris?  I might finally like that book!  I don’t know that people are over-educated, I think we may put too much emphasis on the need for degrees.  I like the idea of learning about what you are interested in and pursuing that for the fun of it.  I believe in that idea.  I love learning about different stuff.  I plan on learning the rest of my life and I do try to instill this love of learning in my sons.  They do feel restrained in school which is why hubby and I take them on grand adventures.

It would be fun to learn with Chris about any topic.  Referring back to his quote, and not having kids, I think he would have been an extremely interesting parent.  Imagine himwith his own kid…”So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.” (Pulp Fiction)

If the quotes on IMDb are accurate, he has a down-to-earth way of living life and I would enjoy that same lifestyle if I could.  Except with my family.  I’m more interested in people than he is.  He probably wouldn’t talk much during the lunch.  But supposedly he’s a good cook so at least the eats would be good.

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Destination Truth: Big Brook Preserve

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , , , , , on July 22, 2012| Leave a Comment »

So we went on the fossil hunt.  The weather was questionable at best, but this had been planned for a while.  I wasn’t going to let a little rain stop this adventure.  I was declared the “Josh Gates” of our very own Destination Truth.  Sometimes on the show, Josh and the gang have to try multiple times to find the correct place or the right area to investigate.  That was us on Friday.  You see, multiple people told me how EASY it was to go to Big Brook and find shark tooth fossils.  I was the good mommy I’m supposed to be and I googled Big Brook and got directions.  The maps certainly seemed easy.

But you see, there is Big Brook Park and Big Brook Preserve.

BIG difference between the two.

The directions from Mapquest were almost accurate.  I already wished we had the Destination Truth GPS equipment.  And the film crew.  We ended up at Holmdel Park initially.  The very nice ranger let us use the bathroom and we found another map.  We got back in the rocketsled and headed to Big Brook Park, still unaware of our initial mistake, Park versus Preserve.  We easily found Big Brook Park and there was much rejoicing.  The kids were hungry already so we ate in the rocketsled (since it was still raining) and studied the maps.  We felt we had found the easiest way to the brook and as we finished lunch, the rain was even letting up a bit.  We all hit the Johnny on the Spot and headed down the trail.

We quickly stopped as we realized how much it was not going to get us to the brook.  With some grumbling from the kids, we got back in the vehicle and studied the maps again.  At this point, Josh Gates took over my mind and I didn’t become freakishly tense Mom.  I stayed loose and relished the quest for the shark tooth fossils.  The kids were having a field day anyway.  And shortly after we got back on the road, the rain started coming down again.

We went around to another side of the park and entered through a trail.  We followed the paved trail and made our way across a bridge.   We guessed it was the brook, but there was no access.  We turned around and tried an unpaved trail.  There we were, the five of us, trekking through a field, keeping the woods to our right while looking for another trail.  We found evidence of an old trail and decided to try that since it headed toward the woods.  We also could see signs on some of the trees so some other human had approached this area and we felt we were finally on the right track.

                                               

We weren’t.  Back to the rocketsled.  Back to the maps.  We had noticed some playground equipment and the sign on the tree said no shooting because there was a school within 50 feet.  We decided to look for the school since that would be public property and, in theory, we could access the brook from there.  We headed out again and slowly came to realize as we tried every little street that the playground equipment belonged to really rich kids with gigantic playsets in their backyards not a school.

By now, we were laughing about the lack of luck, enjoying the journey, and relishing the fact that we were in the rocketsled during the current downpour.

We stopped by a gas station, asked for directions (no luck) and used the facilities.  We ventured another direction and found a park on a road that was on the map, had the required woods, and a trail leading to them.  We kept driving to scope the area, found another key road from the map, and a small sign that said Big Brook Preserve with rules listed on it.  It was simply a sign on the side of the road next to a small bridge.  We figured these were our last two options (considering we were down to about an hour of “fossil time”).  We decided to check the park first.  Our own personal “Ryder” volunteered to scope it out in the rain.  The rain was light but then it became a downpour.  The kids didn’t care.  They were out playing in the playground and running around in the rain.  Ryder reported back via phone that the park was not the right place.  The five of us piled back into the rocketsled completely soaked, but thankful we had a more reliable vehicle than the Destination Truth gang usually has to drive.

We went to our last place to try.  We had about 45 minutes before we had to head home.  Ryder scoped it out again and finally, finally, we had found the right place.  Big Brook Preserve.

And so in the rain we trekked carefully down the side of the bridge, with Ryder leading the way and me, Josh, bringing up the rear.  Happily, one thing I was told was truthful.  We found shark teeth fossils in the little bit of time we had in the brook.  The rain was pouring down and the laughter was floating in the air.

                                                                 

I went so far out of my comfort zone on this trip.  It was invigorating.  While it was not as adventurous as what Josh, Ryder, and the DT gang usually do, it was quite an amazing adventure for us.  Pick a destination and see what truth you can find.  In my Josh Gates mode, I found that I can still climb, play in a brook, and dance in the rain.  That was my Destination Truth.

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Singer and Dancer

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , on July 14, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Younger son loved camp.  The only problem he faced was that he was not a “good singer and dancer”.  Thus he sat out of some of the activities.  He loved everything about the camp.  His counselor, the bunk beds, the friends he made, the crafts, the food!  He said the pancakes even rivaled Daddy’s pancakes.

He brought his blanket and two special stuffed animals, but he had me quickly hide them under his sleeping bag.  My guess is they didn’t have to stay there for long.

I know it was only four days. I know there were only two actual days that I didn’t see him, but he looks older.  The confidence and independence my sons have gained at camp is a wonderful thing.  Younger son is handling himself with more control and is managing older son more easily.  There is more patience in my son’s soul.

I am so proud of younger son for going to camp with an open heart and mind and really giving it a try.  He fell in love with the camp, just as older son has, and we are very blessed to have this wonderful camp to send our sons to for learning.

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Time can move so slowly

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on July 13, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Younger son went to camp on Wednesday night.  We left him at camp around 7:45 that evening and he was crying.  Older son and I were crying too.  Yesterday was tolerable.  I only got misty-eyed a few times, but held it together pretty well.  Today was a different story.

Last  night I cuddled a pair of his footed pajamas.  I didn’t sleep well.  I woke up every few hours.  I didn’t really have bad dreams or anything, just kept waking up.  Didn’t sleep soundly.

This morning I cried a lot.  Couldn’t get myself to stop.  I kept myself busy and tried not to think about it on my way home from the lovely half-day Friday.  Filled my afternoon with busy work.  It was good because it was purposeful work.  But I was still thinking about him.

Tonight I put in Sweeney Todd and figured that would fill the evening but it was only 10:30 when it was over.  I can’t bear this.  If I go to sleep this early I know I won’t sleep well.  I wish it were already Saturday morning.

I know it’s only two days of not seeing him, and I know others in the world have had to deal with far more dire circumstances.  Still it hurts my heart to know my baby isn’t in our home.  Tomorrow morning.  Only an hour and a half away.  Then I’ll see my baby.  Still, it’s only 10:52…

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