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Posts Tagged ‘sons’

Jurassic Park and World

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , on June 19, 2015| Leave a Comment »

In 1993 I walked out of a movie theater scared to death that the T-Rex was going to swallow me whole on the way home. It was one of those movies that changed the way you look at movies. I loved everything about it. I loved Spielberg for making it. In the second one, I loved that Spielberg again had a dog eaten by the scary creature, a very hungry T-Rex (first dog was eaten in Jaws). I love Jaws and watch it regularly and always on the Fourth of July (Amity, as you know, means friendship). These movies are a part of my mind’s eye.

My sons have grown up watching Spielberg movies and tonight we shared seeing Jurassic World in the theater. Sunday we will see Jaws in the theater and celebrate 40 years of Bruce.  Older son’s room has dinosaur murals and Younger Son’s room has Bruce painted on one wall of his ocean mural. I love the movies that Spielberg creates, in whatever role he plays. You can just tell when he has his hand in it. To see my sons walk out of the theater tonight with huge smiles on their faces and to hear them talk incessantly about the movie on the way home are memories that will warm my heart for a long time.

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Battleship

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on May 28, 2015| Leave a Comment »

We have stayed up late the past few evenings playing Battleship.  Not the newfangled electronic version, but the classic peg and plastic ship version.  It was Hubby’s when he was a wee small boy.  The boys love when they win and hate when they lose.  It’s been several nights chock full of learning how to be a good sport.  The marathon series of games helps that lesson.  There is always another game and another winner.

Life is about winning and losing.  There is no way of getting around that.  The “cards” you are dealt may not seem fair, but truly is what you do with the cards that matter.  You can always discard them and hope for better.  You don’t need to sit there and bemoan your lot in life, change the cards and see what happens.

We are trying to help Younger Son realize that he can change his cards.  Fourth grade does not have to be remembered as the year of the bully.  It has been filled with so many wonderful events, life milestones, and new accomplishments.  And I do believe I am seeing some signs of him moving forward in this idea.  As with anything with nine year olds, it is two steps forward, three steps back, but he is getting there. A more positive outlook, kind words, kind actions, and allowing himself to be and feel happy.  We slowed things down, as much as we could, and it is making a difference in helping him remember that the bully has no power over him.

He likes quoting Sarah.  “You have no power over me.”  He is re-embracing his uniqueness and savoring marching to his own drummer.  He is remembering that he is an Addams!  He’s remembering he can sink that Battleship!

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Dirty Hands

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , on May 6, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Me: How did your hands get this dirty?

Younger Son:  Well, I fell off my ripstik and then landed…

Me:  Why didn’t you wash them?

YS: I’m a boy. We’re dirty.

Me:  You know, boys can be clean.

YS: Yes, but mostly we’re not.

He ate his sandwich with those hands.  A quadruple decker PB&J.  With those hands.  Ew.

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Parenting Sucks More Than They Tell You

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on May 6, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Sadness, heartache, grief, worry, concern, some more sadness, frustration, anger, are all emotions and feelings I have had as a parent.  I worry about my sons everyday and everyday they find new ways to give me attitude.They are experts at that now and deliver it with such finesse they should offer training workshops on it for other kids.  They always seem to know just how to dig in and make my heart weep just a little bit.  The angry “I know, Mom” response is probably my favorite because it’s rife with the conflict they are feeling.  They do know I am right, and they hate it.  They do know that they know better, and they hate that probably more than they hate me being right.  They get so frustrated that they forgot to make the better choice again.

So I pray every morning on the way to work that they will have good experiences at school each day.  They will make the better choice when facing tricky situations.  They will remember that they are 11 and 9 and should be having fun in their childhoods and not take it too seriously.

They don’t call me anymore after school.  They are too big for that.  Which means when I get home around 6:15 we get to have the conflict about homework, again.  I wish I could make them have the realization that they could have their homework done by 4:30 if they choose to, but I can’t.  So that means resistance when I get home since I want it completed and they want to keep riding their razor ripstiks.  Only one of us can win this battle, and it usually is me, and this is a battle to win.  Smaller ones I let go because the adage is true, you have to choose your battles.

Because at the end of the day, when they are asleep in their beds, and you can still see the baby inside the boy, parenting sucks a little more love into your heart, and it sucks a little more breath away as you listen to them breathe.  Parenting sucks a little bit of cynicism out of your system every day as you listen to their conversations, without them knowing because jeez, Mom, you wouldn’t understand, and you hear the optimism coming from their minds and souls.  It sucks a little bit of your learned prejudices and behaviors out of your system as you remember that these are learned aspects of life.  It sucks a little bit of the tiredness you feel after working all week and infuses you with energy to see their smiles when they wake up in the morning, thinking of the important things in life: playing with Legos, riding a skateboard, staring at the clouds, making your cat dance, picking a flavor of ice cream at White Dotte, arguing who is better, Iron Man or Spiderman, and creating magical treasures using only glue, yarn, and popsicle sticks.  These are some of the secrets they don’t tell you about parenting.

That and the amazingly high number of times you will hear the word “poop” in a day.

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Mr. Holland Moments

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , on March 28, 2015| Leave a Comment »

I got home a little after midnight from a long but happy day at work. I was fortunate enough to end my day with a Mr Holland’s moment from two of my tutors. I did not realize until after they gave me those wonderful moments how much I needed those moments.

I said hello to my sons, to my husband, and to my dog. The cats ignored me as they typically do. It was a good day at work and I had fun. It felt like a day at work from a couple of years ago, full of fun, but also productive.

And my older son said he was happy that I had fun at work today. He said he knew I had been sad at work lately and was happy that today was fun. He told me I should enjoy work. He then gave me very wise advice. He said choose a job that you love and you will never work a day in your life. And now I have to Google if it really was Confucius who said that, since that’s what the eleven year old claimed.

Okay, it is typically attributed to Confucius, but there are some raging debates that it couldn’t have been him. We’ll let it lie. Because it’s already out there.

I haven’t quite been sad at work, but it’s hard to explain to my sons without making them worry. There has been a lot going on within the boys’ lives and so it’s been very tricky to balance it all. My heart has wanted to be at home when they are home, but that’s not how the job description reads. I’m fortunate-I can take time off as I need to in order to handle much of what is going on. But I still worry while I’m at work.

I know, I know, worrying gets you nowhere. But I’m a mom. And tonight I’m a grace-filled mom and wife who had a fun day at work.

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Want some cheese with your whine?

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , on March 19, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Yep, I’m gonna whine for a bit. Started the day with Younger Son throwing up because he is so stressed from the situation with another student at school (bully). Got him calmed down and brought the boys to school. I walked them in and went to the main office with Younger Son. I pulled a wee bit of Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment (give my daughter the shot!) simply so the school could have some appreciation for the stress the situation has been causing our family.

Got home, spoke with my boss who graciously offered for me to stay home and catch up on whatever I needed to (laundry, housework, sleep). I did two loads of laundry, walked Rex, got Diet Coke from the Acme, and dropped off ink cartridges at Staples. School still hadn’t called to say Younger Son had gotten sick again so it was nap time. Hubby had lunch.

Then Hubby got sick. He now wonders if it’s a bug, but I think it’s food poisoning. No point in debating it with him. As I like to say to him, “You’re the doc, Doc.”

So we all went to the doctor’s office. Doc saw the doc and we went home. He went to sleep and I emailed the people I was supposed to meet with at church. Fed the boys, dropped Older Son at karate, Younger Son at baseball, grabbed a coffee regular at Dunkin’s, went back to karate, then back to baseball, then home. Showers, desserts, and walk the dog again. Another load of laundry because Older Son needs the same clothes for tomorrow to finish filming in one of his classes. A little homemade MTV with the boys. And now time to collapse in bed. No wine needed.

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Our Sons

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged on February 21, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Adopted Number 3 Son is home for the weekend.  The boys are thrilled about this and with him they have played outside at their snow forts, Legos, XBox, eaten pancakes, sausage, and bacon, resolved about 20 fights peacefully because A#3Son said to be cool, and have followed every direction he gave them.  If only Hubby and I were as cool as him.

This visit will perk both boys.  Particularly Younger Son who has been dealing with a bully at school.  And I do not use that term lightly.  There have been meetings with the Assistant Principal and Guidance Counselor, seating arrangements have been changed, and sadly there are multiple students who have brought this issue to the administration’s attention.  The good news is the school is working with the boy, and truly hearing what my son has reported.  Still Younger Son does not want to go to school.  He’s tired of being anxious and nervous wondering when the kid will taunt him next.  This visit will provide a lovely confidence booster.  And remind him that he matters and is an awesome kid.

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I’m just Mom

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , on December 17, 2014| Leave a Comment »

The boys have shifted in their way of viewing the world.  I’m just Mom now and they don’t come to me first for things, for help, or with questions.  They are forming their own ideas, learning how to look at things and make their own decisions.  Obviously this is great, but it hurts.  They don’t tell you when you are holding that little baby in the hospital how much it will hurt when Mommy isn’t the first go-to person on the list.  I don’t know anything anymore.  I know I will know things again in about eight years, but right now I’m as dumb as a rock.  It makes me sad that it happened so quickly.  They are 11 and 9, I know it doesn’t seem that quick, compared to heating up something in the microwave, but I blinked and it happened.

Cuddle times are few and far between.  Only occasionally am I asked to put a Bandaid on a cut.  I am still clinging to tucking them into bed at night, but even that is starting to wear on their nerves.  The kiss in the morning while dropping them off at school has become so perfunctory that I won’t force it when they decide to skip it.  I fear that day is right around the corner.

I get so little time with them each day.  It’s hard not to be resentful of my job…it gets eight hours from me each day and my sons get about three.  And during those three hours, errands have to be run, sports have to be practiced, dinners have to be eaten.  Truly it’s not three solid hours.  I guess the resentment will lessen soon since they don’t particularly care whether I am home or not.  I just have to learn how to redirect my energies to other parts of my life.

I just miss them.  I miss them asking to read a book.  To play a game.  To sit together.  I have to ask now.  They ask for the time restrictions to be removed on the computer or to borrow my tablet.  Or they play one of the videogames that I don’t know how to play.  Or they’re in their rooms doing their own thing.  Again, this is good.  They are happy, healthy boys with friends and interests of their own.

Still, I miss them.

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October, as always, is Poe Month

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged , , , on October 13, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Before we began reading, Older Son recalled last year when I came into his fifth grade classroom and read “The Raven”.  This is happily a good memory for him though tonight I apologized to him.  It was not the best selection because in my skewed world of what is normal family reading, I made a huge mistake in thinking all fifth graders enjoyed Poe…or even knew who he was.  I recovered at the end by making the connection to the Baltimore Ravens and then the classmates at least were polite in pretending to care.  I realized only tonight how much damage I potentially did to my son’s tender reputation in reading a little Poe in school.

But tonight, as I gently opened the care-worn copy of Poe, we delved this year into “The Black Cat”.  I felt this fitting considering we now have six felines living with us, yet none of them completely black so no nightmares should ensue.  Of course, the nine year old manages a nightmare every night…about two minutes after being tucked in.  I always marvel at how quickly he manages to succumb to REM sleep!

After the story, we chose a poem, “Fairy Land”, and we all quite enjoyed it.  We then read “Hymn” and I read it a second time and the boys caught the references better on that reading.  Then it was time for bed and I happened upon a poem that I had never read before while the boys prepared for slumber.

The title is simply “The Sleeper”.  One of the most haunting descriptions of a coffin is contained in this poem.  I wept while reading it.  I couldn’t have stopped myself if I had tried, but truthfully, I didn’t realize I was weeping till I tasted the tears.

“…The bodiless airs, a wizard rout,
Flit through thy chamber in and out
And wave the curtain canopy
So fitfully-so fearfully-
Above the closed and fringéd lid
‘Neath which thy slumb’ring soul lies hid,…”

And later,

“Forever with unopened eye,
While the pale sheeted ghosts go by!”

So sad, so haunting, so full of mourning.  What a tortured soul he must have been.  I am still sad that the Poe Toaster stopped the tradition.  I will have to enlighten the boys to that bit of history.  Younger Son had forgotten that they have visited Poe’s grave, so I suppose on the next trip to Baltimore we should visit it again.

Perhaps tomorrow night will be the annual reading of “The Raven”.  I shall read that poem till I can read nevermore!

 

 

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My Lunch with Myself

Posted in My lunch with..., tagged , , , on August 19, 2014| Leave a Comment »

I’m not good at taking an actual lunch break at work.  Today I really stopped and ate food (a lovely stuffed shell left over from Sunday night’s dinner).  I am playing music and decided to take a few minutes for me, and in turn, you Gentle Reader.

My boys are sick.  I hate that.  Older son got sick on Saturday.  His fever spiked as high as 105 at one point but today it is hovering around 100, so he’s almost all better.  He also has his energy and appetite back-both good signs.  Younger son came down with it yesterday and is still in the thick of it.  His temperature this morning was 103.  He is feeling very achy and I really wish I could be home with both of them.  They caught it from Hubby (he caught it from a patient) so I’m the only one it hasn’t gotten yet.

Hubby truly understands that as much as I want to be at home, I really can’t call out from work at the moment.  We’re in training mode and there isn’t anyone else here to step in and cover.  My boys understand too and besides, Dad doesn’t make them rest in their rooms like I do.  I’m sure the three of them are in the living room watching some cartoon or another.  Knowing I couldn’t stay home today either, Hubby ran around last night taking care of stuff that he knew he wouldn’t be able to take care of today.  And he surprised me by putting out the garbage.  I had the biggest smile when I walked out of my house this morning and discovered he had already put the trash to the curb.

When Hubby did get home last night, we watched Scary Movie 2 (again) because it makes us laugh every freakin’ time.  (I better use my strong hand…)

The boys have been helping each other with taking care of the pets, depending on who is feeling better.  They are so cute and cuddly when mildly delirious from fever!

Ah, lunch with myself.  Time’s almost up.  Gonna go call my three stooges and see how they are.

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