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Posts Tagged ‘sons’

What I Did on my Summer Vacation

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged boys, sons, summer camp on July 27, 2014| Leave a Comment »

While taking the boys to camp this afternoon, I wept silently several times. Not just because I miss them while they are at camp, but because I loved what they were doing in the backseat. They played with their stuffed animals that they were bringing to camp. They created a whole universe in the backseat during the ride. Blue Bear, Little Blue Bear, Elmo’s Blanket, T-Rex, Zarzac, and their little camp animals were knee-deep in it and all I know for certain is it involved codes, breaking said codes, the animals’ mothers, and some type of court.

When we got to camp, I saw two mothers driving out of the camp, both wiping tears away from their eyes. That got me going again. We got them settled in their cabins, a very regular routine this summer, and then said our goodbyes. On our way out of the camp, we dropped off the care packages. Younger son will turn 9 this Thursday and that also helped me cry. I hate like hell not being with him on his birthday, but he says he enjoys the celebration at camp. Hearing their names called out even before they walked through the door today makes me believe everything they say about camp, so I trust he enjoys his birthday there. Plus, they both get care packages in connection to it.

After dropping off the care packages, we started the ride home and it felt longer. I cried. Hubby said each time they go to camp, they come home more grown up. It’s true and it’s a good thing, but knowing that we dropped them off to some serious growing up on their own gives me pause and made me cry a little bit today.

I am so thankful we are able to send the boys to camp, to let them stand on their own, and grow in ways that they can’t when we’re around. And even though they will be a little more grown up next Saturday, they’ll always be my babies.

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MacBeth

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged anniversary, hubby, Kenneth Branagh, MacBeth, pets, sons on June 8, 2014| Leave a Comment »

June 8, 2014. I will breathe the same oxygen as Kenneth Branagh. Okay, technically, not the same, and every day we are breathing the same “air” but on June 8, 2014, it’ll be the shared air in the Armory.

June 8, 2014.

Twelve years of marriage. Fourteen years shared together. Over ten years of parenting joy. Two amazing sons. A fantastic Adopted #3 Son. Two dogs, nine cats, two bearded dragons, countless fish, thousands of crickets (always temporary at best), multiple mealworm colonies, two rocket sleds, four POSs, a trip to India, honeymoon in Maine, many trips to Massachusetts, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, and all around New Jersey. Millions of laughs, a bunch of tears, fair share of bouts of sickness or the “sicks”, plenty of morning sickness! A bunch of theater productions, many sets built and taken down, many 50/50s sold. Around 36 family board meetings, reunions up and down the east coast. Many pink pigs, hundreds of Three Stooges, dozens of flights to the Moon and bushes of pink roses. How do you sum up a marriage? You can’t. You can make a laundry list, like this, but it doesn’t capture the heart, the soul, the body, and the mind of a marriage.

Hubby, I love you wamhasabam aiaw faeaad. Happy anniversary!

P.S. Yes, others have pointed out Hubby’s resemblance to Kenneth Branagh.

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Cleaning the Toilet

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged cats, dog, kittens, sons, toilets on April 29, 2014| Leave a Comment »

On Sunday, after we got home from church, I told the boys they would be helping me around the house. I gave them options to choose from, like sweeping the floor, dusting, helping me in the laundry room. Nope…what they fought over was who gets to clean the toilet. I feared they would get to fisticuffs! Younger son claimed cleaning the entire bathroom and we avoided injury. Older son reluctantly took dusting and sweeping the rest of the upstairs. This left me free to work on the laundry room and reclaim parts of the family room for me.

The kittens now have their “rest room” in one location. Since they are huge six month old kittens, we don’t have to dedicate a room to their potty needs. I then moved their food to the top of a cabinet. They can work their need to jump on EVERYTHING and the dog can’t reach it. Another project I have to do soon is repair where the kittens tore the curtain rod out of the wall. That’s one way to get me to change the curtains.

In a very real sense, I have brought my work home with me. I am accomplishing all this fabulous housework by breaking the work in to small manageable tasks and completing all of it using the “tolerable ten”. Anyone can stand to do anything, even moving a litter box, for ten minutes.

(Note the baseball hat for size reference. Cujo is one big six month old kitten!)

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The Price Is Right

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged Craig Ferguson, sons, The Price is Right on April 1, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Younger son was home sick the past two days. He’s all better and will return to school tomorrow. But the greatest thing happened at 11:00am. We watched The Price Is Right together, just like I did when I was a kid and home sick from school. Bonus, for April Fool’s Day, Craig Ferguson was hosting. He brought the horse and Geoff. It was so clear how much he enjoyed hosting the show. I assume Drew Carey will be hosting The Late Late Show. There were clips of Drew on the Late Late show set on one of the prize televisions. Anyhoo, younger son and I had a blast watching it. He was really laughing and was calling out prices and higher or lower. I will cherish this memory.

Older son gave me a memory I will cherish too. It’s just a bit grosser. He made me a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Cookie Crisp. With milk…and mayo…and ketchup. April Fool’s! He got Hubby pretty well with the fake worm in the apple. Good times, good times.

Happy April Fool’s Day!

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Eerie Hallway

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged bearded dragons, love, sons on March 24, 2014| Leave a Comment »

We don’t have a big house and that’s okay by me. As you may know if you’ve read any of the other posts, it’s challenging to keep the house clean at this size. But we’ve got some fun stuff. Pretty sure there is a ghost or two. Some great creaky floors. And now the bearded dragons night lights ooze eerie purple and red light out of the bottom of the boys’ doors. It makes for a wonderful atmosphere in the middle of the night.

Add to that the cricket that continues to hide from Gunter and you have a constant chirping sound coming from younger son’s room. It’s rather calming and helps one to fall asleep as long as you think about it as a sign of summer and not an annoying insect.

The boys love the light bulbs for night-time in the cages. Younger son loves the purple glow in his room. It works quite well with the sharks, squid, and jellyfish that are part of his ocean mural. The red lamp in older son’s room is obviously fitting for a room with dinosaur murals covering the walls.

Our house has many critters, massive clutter, and much love.

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The Labyrinth of Motherhood

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged family, Labyrinth, motherhood, parenthood, sons on March 23, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Am I a good mom? Just never know. I do the best I can but some days I question myself more than other days. Today was one of those days. Seems my sons move too much, are too disrespectful, and their behavior is disappointing. Hmmm…that all reflects back on parenting, doesn’t it? The funny thing is they were moving when they were supposed to, and while some choices today were disrespectful, today wouldn’t have happened without two very giving choices they made, and those same choices demonstrated behavior that helped the greater good even if it meant the boys were out of their comfort zones.

We did a skit at church today. That should explain the moving. The children were using masks in a style inspired by a combination of Greek theater and Kabuki for the skit. They moved them and rotated them at specific times. But my sons were the only ones commented about for moving too much. While they didn’t follow directions perfectly throughout the morning (disrespectful and disappointing behavior), if my two sons hadn’t stepped up and taken the two roles they played, the skit would have been a lot shorter. No one else wanted to have a speaking part. Not my sons’ first choices either, but they went out of their comfort zones to help their mom while she was directing yet another skit at church.

What did I learn from today? I know my sons have interests that are not mine and I know they try to support me in my interests. But I won’t make them be in any more skits at church. They’ll have to be jumping up and down, begging to be in it before I’ll think they really want to be in it. I also learned that my sons talk to me about everything and share how they are feeling and that will make a big difference in their lives. Just as I finally realized that they need help remembering to keep their rooms clean, and that cleaning the room when it gets totally out of hand is too big of a job for them alone, I need to not spend as much time on my interests yet. I spent at least 15 hours outside of church working on the skit. That’s 15 hours on lots of wonderful children, but not 15 hours spent in depth with the two children most wonderful to me. While I enjoy keeping a toe in theater, in any capacity, much like when I did Mame, it’s just not quite a good fit yet. Next skit would have to remain self-contained in the time at church. Or maybe someone will volunteer to direct the next one. Okay, and back to reality. I’ll do the first idea-completely self-contained in church!

I didn’t get offered a spring class at the university-cut backs, but the extra time gained from not grading papers has been great. I like finding the silver lining in that. Spending four or five weeks on a skit and on the performance day having my sons leave crying, not the silver lining I was looking for. They helped with the stuff at home so we did spend time together while doing the work, but it was something for my interest, not their interest. I feel like a parent should be supporting their kids more than the other way around. I know kids support their parents–I get that should be there too-but shouldn’t more support being going from parent to child? I’m being selfish if I force them to be dragged to my interests, sacrificing their interests in the process. And being in a skit isn’t really their thing, it’s a “let’s help out Mom in her thing” thing.

It was a day full of ups and downs. I will not remember the skit, not my sons crying about what they were told, but instead remember the deep belly-laughs as we returned home from 7-11 with nachos and Slurpees. I’ll remember how we laughed during our discussion about what to have autographed by David Bowie. I’ll remember that we watched Labyrinth cuddled up on the couch, staying up a little past bedtime in the process.

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Don’t be different in school

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged different, school, sons on March 5, 2014| Leave a Comment »

In the mid sixties, Hubby began attending elementary school. He was not the big man on campus. He was more of the hanging-on-the-outside-fringe-because-no-one-quite-understood-him kid. He was different. In the mid seventies, I began attending elementary school and traveled the same path. I can’t share the details of Hubby’s journey, I didn’t walk it. My journey included being teased because of my buck teeth, glasses, hair, then teased for my braces. Then it turned to a feeling of being excluded. So I took care of myself as best I could. By high school, my mom had given me permission to drop out when I turned 16 and take the GED. Fortunately, I got cast in a play at a local college and was able to spend time with people who I fit in with. I auditioned for the performing arts high school and got in. Knowing I would only have to be at my regular high school for English and History the last two years, I stayed in school. My choir teacher made the time at the regular school tolerable, though the administration fired her my senior year because she refused to teach at every school in the district for the same pay. She told me to keep the faith and try to find a college. I found one and went and it has made all the difference.

Fast forward to 2008. Older son entered kindergarten. 2010, Younger son entered kindergarten. They too are different. And in all those years, schools have not gotten any better at supporting the different kids. My oldest wants to be home schooled (not gonna happen). But he’s tired of being told to shut up by the other kids. He’s tired of feeling excluded. Younger son has a slightly different experience because like finds like and he made a best friend with one of the kids who also isn’t really understood. They have a ball together and can lean on each other for support during the day. They recharge together hanging out together on the weekends. Older son has invited kids over but the answer is usually no thank you. He’s tired of rejection.

Older son even thought about just conforming. I asked him if he thought he would be any happier and he realized he probably would only feel worse. I spoke to the school again. And then Hubby and I talked about it and realized the schools just can’t handle all the differences and they function on the middle ground-the students who follow the current trends and fall in the middle have an easier time because that’s the way the school can function.

Keep in mind-the school our boys go to is a fantastic school. They have small class sizes, great resources, involved teachers and administrators, but in the end, the student who is on the fringe, who marches to his own drummer, doesn’t fit the mold. Ironically, Older son plays the drums in band.

I realize that the majority of students may feel this way, at least at one time or another. Everyone has their own defensive moves to keep a feeling of safety around them in school. Some of them may not realize that the defense strategy they use may hurt someone else. Older son acts goofy because any attention, even negative attention, is better than being ignored and excluded. Younger son acts moody to keep others away when he feels overwhelmed to avoid attention. Everyone’s perspective in school is similar, but the skills aren’t there yet to realize it. They’re eight or ten years old. Can’t expect them to be able to step outside and see the bigger picture.

Mama Bear came out last night and really wants to protect her baby cubs. I can’t impart this wisdom. This wisdom is learned from living. So for now, they have to muddle through this time called school. And hopefully, with love and support from Mom and Dad, they’ll stay true to themselves.

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Scenes from a snowy evening

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged chaos, friends, home, Madness, Our House, pets, sons on February 9, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Younger son’s best friend came over today along with his two sisters. In total, I had a ten-year old boy, a ten-year old girl, two eight-year old boys, and a three-year girl in my house for four hours. Plus the 15 pets (1 cat, 3 kittens, 1 dog, 2 bearded dragons, and 8 fish…okay, the eight fish don’t require a lot of attention). It was a full house of chaos.

At one point the three-year old girl said, “You talk about me.”… “No, we don’t. Why would you think that?”… “I dreamed about you and Younger Son. And you talked about me.”

Then there was a loud noise competition between the three-year old girl and my oldest, the ten-year old boy.

Another moment during the afternoon, I hear “I’m done!” I looked around, not sure what that meant. The ten-year old sister stood up, and sheepishly explained it meant her sister was done in the bathroom, ready for help, heading down the hall to the bathroom.

Sitting at the dining room table, my two sons and the three-year old were all still eating pizza, when the sweet little girl passed some gas. My sons looked at me, at each other, back at me, then she passed a little more gas. They looked at me again and I gave them the look that said, “she’s three, she can’t help it, and I know what each of you are capable of at this table, so let it go.”

These are the joyous moments of motherhood that make me realize I am glad I have an eight-year old son and a ten-year old son. I do not miss diapers, playpens, toddler years, preschool years. I loved those years when we were in them (how did I have the energy?!?), but I love where we are even more. Those early moments are so very precious. Each stage of childhood is precious and I’ve never been one to look back and sigh, missing the stage that had been grown out of. Today, I realized I barely remember the stages the boys have grown out of. I loved the silliness, the discoveries, the wonder of the world through their eyes, but I love where they are even more, so much so I don’t miss where they’ve been.

I also realized I have brought out a good number of breakable items that had been packed away for so long while they were little, little boys. Okay, the items weren’t packed away all that long, but it felt like a long time while we were in it. The boys are just such interesting people…I love watching them discover more and more about themselves. I realized their days do not revolve around me (like days do when they are so little) and that’s a good thing. Hell, sometimes I’m just the annoying mom now.

I love that my sons stay up till around midnight most nights whispering in their room, having “bro talk” about topics ranging from Lego design, to life dreams, to deep conversations about how to handle peer pressure.

I love that younger son tells me and Hubby that we are addicted to Law and Order SVU and that he’s going to call Dick Wolf and tell him to take it off the air.

I love when older son steps up by stepping back and letting his younger brother take the lead.

I love that they still share a room and have the other room set up with their Legos and beardies.

I love that they take turns walking the dog and they are nurturing the kittens with such love and attention.

I love that we live in our house, the house of chaos. (In the middle of the street…it was our castle and our keep…)

I love that they love that song.

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Addams Family Unplugged

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged family values, hubby, Rex, sons, unplugged on November 8, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Last night Hubby taught older son how to play chess while younger son and I played piano. We discovered how many keys just don’t work anymore and that it is way more out of tune than we thought.

Day Off #1-spent time cuddling with the boys, Rex and I had a great walk in the rain, a trip to the dentist, only a few texts and about a dozen work emails, and one workshop at work. This trip to work also accommodated getting our milk as the dairy is closer to work. Hubby and I dealt with moving all the food from the now-broken fridge to the one that works. Cooked a lot of bacon so we wouldn’t lose it. Gave Rex and Shemp their flea treatments. Boys are sleeping, I’m watching JP, and about to go to sleep. Tomorrow is too jam packed to get near a computer so whoo hoo!

It’s a wonderful thing to go unplugged every once in a while, like last night. No television, no computers, just family conversation and really out of tune music. Tomorrow is another day when we’ll be primarily unplugged. I will savor every moment with my three stooges tomorrow and the rest of the weekend.

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Bonfire and Hayride

Posted in Musings and Epiphanies, tagged bonfire, hayride, Our Town, sons on October 24, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Our town…no, not the play, but the town I live in, has a bonfire and hayride each October. I have lived here since September of 2001 and I finally made it to the bonfire this year! Both sons really wanted to go so we went. I was exhausted. Happily, it seemed as though every kid in town was there, so I let the boys wander and play. Plus there were three police officers on foot and one on a quad so I figured the boys would have to work really hard at getting lost on the trails. No one was allowed on those that night.

It was a good old fashioned night and seeing so many folks from our tiny town together filled me with a warm feeling. The boys had a blast. I suspect this has quickly become an annual event for us.